Reconciliation

Ending the blog

2010-10-13T09:59:00.000-07:00

As of October 1 I have been retired! I have moved to the mountains of North Carolina and am excited about exploring this new life. I have begun a new blog at:

www.111ivylane.blogspot.com

So I hope you will join me there as I reflect on the gifts of God's creativity in my life.

Martha

Trinity Sunday

2010-05-28T14:37:00.000-07:00

Katie and I took a long walk this afternoon. This pond is behind the New Harmony Inn and these two swans are permanent residents. They swim in this pond and then through a series of canals running east to another pond. You can't really tell from this picture but they are big birds! I think the male swan probably weighs 30 pounds and maybe more. Katie is curious but she is not going to get too close...I'm sure papa swan could do some damage with his beak.

Sunday we celebrate the Trinity. My favorite image of the Trinity is Rublev's icon of the Trinity (pictured below). I love the notion that these three "persons" seem to be seated at a table and there is room at the table for me. It is one of the most prevalent images that comes to my mind when I am meditating and praying. Just to feel myself seated in the rich presence of holiness quietens my spirit. I am going to preach on the lesson from Proverbs (Chapter 8). The author writes: "Does not wisdom call and does not understanding raise her voice?" I believe that the Holy Spirit is Lady Wisdom, or as Eugene Peterson calls her in The Message, "Madam Insight". This "wise woman" image of the Spirit makes recognizing her work in us so important. We bring our greatest concerns and deepest needs before the Spirit because without ever uttering a word those intimate needs and concerns are already known by the Spirit who dwells in us. Not a hurt or a care goes unnoticed by this insightful Spirit. I read once that the Holy Spirit can be called our "baggage handler." Each heavy burden is borne by God's own presence in us, even those burdens which we cannot yet articulate.

Rublev's Icon of the Trinity

This is the welcoming table of God's presence. I hope that each of you get to spend some time there this weekend.

Pentecost 2010

2010-05-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

St. Stephen's Parish - Pentecost 2010

We had a wonderful worship service today as we celebrated Pentecost. Pentecost is a Jewish festival which the Christian Church incorporated into its story. Pentecost (Shavuot) celebrates the giving of the 10 commandments to Moses on Mt. Sinai. It is celebrated 50 days after Passover. On Pentecost the Jewish people came together and renewed their commitment to God and to each other. When the followers of Jesus came together to celebrate Pentecost after the death and resurrection of Jesus they must have been wondering how they would be able to move forward from the miraculous events of the past 50 days. How could they continue now that Jesus had ascended leaving them. On this Pentecost celebration the Holy Spirit came down with rushing wind and tongues of fire. The Spirit filled the worshippers with God's presence and an assurance of God's love. The sustaining power of God's presence sent these disciples out into the world to proclaim God's love. We still have God's presence to sustain us and to confirm God's love in our hearts. I wrote a blessing for today's service:

Come rushing wind and flashing fire,

Spirit of God turn us to your love.
In our sorrow, breathe hope;
In our hurts, breathe peace.
Spread the joy of your love in us,
to all the nations of the world.
Go forth in the blessing of God who is
the Creator of all,
our Redeemer and
our Sustaining power. Amen.

Peony Season in New Harmony

The peonies in New Harmony this year have been beautiful. This "old fashioned" flower has a lovely scent which is not overwhelming. There is a Peony Farm in New Harmony and they ship the peony buds all over the world. Once the buds bloom they are no longer able to ship them and they open the farms for picking. It is amazing to see the variety of peonies. Most of the peonies in town are white, pink, and deep purple. I have a parishioner who has a deep red peony which is beautiful. Next spring come to New Harmony to see the peonies!

Parish House

The Parish House is coming along - some of the siding is up in the front. It will be painted white with blue trim. There are so many decisions to be made right now but everyone is getting excited. The contractor says we might be in by the end of July.

Friday

2010-05-07T09:05:00.001-07:00

This week the workers installed this window in the new Parish House! This window faces south and there is one just like it on the north side of the building. Yesterday we worked with the electricians who are wiring the new part and rewiring the old building. When they took the siding off of the back of the old structure they found electrical wiring held together with black electrical tape! When they added on to the original c. 1890's house the wiring was added in a haphazard way. God was good to us over those intervening years as we added computers, copy machines and all manner of kitchen appliances to that frail system. Rewiring this older structure will give us a huge margin of safety. We also worked with the cabinet makers this week to determine storage. It is exciting to see the way it moves forward each day.

Tomorrow I am preaching at our SW Deanery Confirmation service in Washington, IN. I was doing some research for the sermon and came across this quote from Martin Luther King, Jr.

"There was a time when the church was very powerful. It was during that period when the early Christians rejoiced when they were deemed worthy to suffer for what they believed in. In those days the church was not merely a thermometer that recorded the ideas and principles of popular opinion; it was a thermostat that transformed the mores of society. Wherever the early Christians entered a town the power structure got disturbed and immediately sought to convict them for being “disturbers of the peace” and “outside agitators”. But they went on with the conviction that they were a “colony of heaven,” and had to obey God rather than man. They were small in number but big in commitment. They were too God-intoxicated to be “astronomically intimidated.” They brought to an end such ancient evils as infanticide and gladiatorial contest. Things are different now. The contemporary church is often a weak, ineffectual voice with an uncertain sound. It is so often the arch supporter of the status quo. Far from being disturbed by the presence of the church, the power structure of the average community is consoled by the church’s silent and often vocal sanction of things as they are."-- Dr.Martin Luther King Jr., “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” in A Testament of Hope: The Essential Writings of Martin Luther King, Jr., edited by James Melvin Washington (San Francisco: Harper and Row, 1986), pg. 300.

This quote reminded me of some of the things that Philip Newell is teaching at the Benedictine Retreat this week. Newell teaches that the doctrine of creation was "watered down" (my word, Newell used the word, "neutralized") when Christianity was legalized by the Empire. Irenaeus (Bishop of Lyons, c. 202) wrote that creation is not ex nihilo (out of nothing); rather, God created all that is out of God's self. Irenaeus was a disciple of Polycarp, who was a disciple of John, the beloved disciple of Jesus. If all that is created is out of God then we bear the DNA of God in a particular way in our own DNA. This has serious implications for our interactions with each other - implications that go way beyond the current cultures of making war, terrorism, and fundamentalism. Of course the Roman Empire would not want people to believe that each person created bears God. How then could we separate ourselves into the exclusive groups or good and evil, believers and non-believers (infidels). What if we ALL honored this DNA of God in ourselves and others? This is very radical stuff but it resonates within me as the truth that will allow us to stop destroying each other and ourselves. Perhaps the greatest problem our world faces is "religious fundamentalism." Fundamentalists found among Christians, Muslims, or Jews (and many other sects) see the world and people in very exclusive ways. Certain people must be excluded so that we can know who we are.

Julian of Norwich, the 14th Century mystic and writer says that "we are made OF God." Being made of God has huge implications for my life and I am just beginning to reach into those implications as I write this...

Colors of Spring

This is the view from my backyard. This has been one of the most beautiful seasons of Spring that I have known in recent memory. The greens are particularly wonderful. This is a fallow (so far) field where wild mustard has grown up. They may plow it up to plant soybeans later but for now it is radiant! the Wabash River (the tiny slice of blue in the green) is now full to the edges from the rain we had last weekend. Katie and I ride the golf cart down to see it in the evenings.

Blackberry Winter

2010-05-03T15:03:00.000-07:00

Blackberry Blooms!

Actually blackberry winter was last week - this week is going to be like summer! This is a picture of the blackberry bushes in my backyard. My wonderful next door neighbor trimmed all of the dead vines out of them and they are so pleasing to look at now. Last year I both my neighbor and I got loads of blackberries off of the bushes and this year it looks like they will be loaded again. So look for that blackberry jelly again!

On Saturday we rededicated the Roofless Church here in New Harmony on its 50th anniversary. It was a wonderful service - there must have been 150 people there. The Rev. Dr. Philip Newell spoke. Philip and his wife, Allie, are here in New Harmony on sabbatical. Philip was the Warden (like the Dean) of Iona Abbey in Scotland and he has written extensively on Celtic worship. One of the things he said in his talk was that God cannot be contained in buildings, and neither can God be contained by the walls we put up in our hearts. He spoke quite forcibly (I thought) about how imperative it is that we stop separating ourselves from brothers and sisters in different faith traditions. Until we are able to recognize our One-ness in God, peace will never come.

I was reminded of his words as I sat down to write my sermon later in the day. The lessons for the 5th Sunday of Easter were so clearly about this sort of demolition of walls. Christianity, from the beginning, struggled with how to be inclusive. Peter's vision in Acts 11 allowed the first (perhaps) wall to be dismantled. The Jewish Christians didn't want to include the Gentile Christians because it meant letting go of their deeply held traditions. But God shows Peter in a vision that what God has made is clean. So the gospel goes forth to the Gentiles. The commandment to love one another just as Jesus has loved us (John 13) is of course the hardest. I want to exclude those who are different from me (for any reason) because it requires really hard work, inside my self, to overcome my fears and prejudices. Father Zossima, in The Brothers Karamazov says, "Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared to love in dreams." Peter was able to enter into this hard work because he did not want to hinder God's work. What about me? Will I be able to put aside my prejudices and do the hard work of love?

Making Progress

We are now "under roof" and moving along. We are all beginning to get a sense of what the new Parish House will look like and how radically different it will be from the old one. There is so much space in the new building and we are getting excited. More pictures perhaps even tomorrow if they put the round windows in at the top of the hall!!

Sheep Sunday

2010-04-24T17:42:00.000-07:00

A Pastoral Scene

This past week was Heritage Artisans Week in New Harmony. It always surprises me how a 19th century village suddenly appears on the lawn of the Athenaeum on North Street. Artisans from all over come to show what life was like in the New Harmony of the 1800s. Rope makers, soap makers, tin workers and...yes, shepherds come to teach school kids from all over the area about a variety of "lost arts." Around 2000 school children and adults come to visit. So one day last week Katie and I went down to see the sheep. The shepherd had an "under-shepherd" named Rerun. Rerun is a border collie and she is absolutely amazing to watch. While I was there, she never took her eyes off of the sheep. The shepherd let them out of the pen to wander and graze and they didn't hesitate to wander in whatever direction the grass tasted sweetest! Rerun watched and when the shepherd gave her the command to gather them she did it quickly and efficiently.

When Jesus says "My sheep hear my voice. I know them and they follow me" he is talking about all of us sheep and most especially those of us who tend to wander! The fact that no one can snatch us out of his hand means that Jesus never takes his eyes off of us. I don't know how God does that with so many children to watch, but I believe it just as surely as I know that Rerun had her eyes on all 4 of those sheep. Not only did she watch them but she listened for the shepherd's voice. I barely heard his muttered command to her when she rounded up the sheep but she did not miss it.

Annie Lamott in her book, Traveling Mercies, tells a story she heard from one of the ministers at her church. When this woman was about 7 her best friend got lost one day. The little girl ran up and down the streets of the big neighborhood where they lived, but she couldn't find a single landmark. She was very frightened. Finally a policeman stopped to help her. he put her in the passenger seat of his car and drove around until she finally saw her church. She told him firmly, "You could let me out now. This is my church, and I can always find my way home from here."

Lamott says that is why she has always stayed close to her church: because no matter how bad she is feeling, how lost or lonely or frightened, when she sees the faces of those people at her church, and hears their tawny voices, she knows that she can always find her way home.

It is amazing to me how much those who spend time with the Good Shepherd begin to reflect the ways of the Shepherd...and even sound like him.

The walls have gone up with a shout!

This is a picture from almost two weeks ago now of the construction of our new parish house. Not to make too many excuses but this is the reason why I haven't posted in several weeks. This week (before the rain) they got the building under roof and I am very excited about the ministry possibilities it will give us. We are still quite a way off from the finish but it is beginning to feel like a reality. More pictures to come...

Meeting Jesus

2010-04-02T13:13:00.001-07:00

From the Jerusalem woman:

It is so hard to believe that I just met Jesus, the teacher, last night. All afternoon yesterday I tried to think of something that I could take to the Passover meal. As I started out the door, the "ruined" white fabric was there where I had left it the day before. I grabbed it thinking it would be a perfect table covering for the meal. I met Mary of Bethany at the market and helped her finish the shopping for the meal. When she saw the cloth she was delighted.

We finished our preparations just in time. Jesus and his other followers came in. Everyone was talking and excited. I felt a bit out of place - I had just met most of the people and they seemed to know each other so well. Meeting Jesus was extraordinary! He was kind to me and when it came time to serve the meal, he seemed delighted with the white cloth. We all gathered together in the room to share the meal. Jesus was like a rabbi. He taught us, he served us and he washed the feet of some of his disciples! I have never been served by a man. I felt shy and somewhat bewildered. I didn't know whether to accept the bowl of food he gave me or give it to one of the men in the room. But it was clear from his eyes that he meant it for me and he served everyone.

The meal became quite somber after a while. Jesus began to talk about betrayal, and he talked about his death. I wanted to run to him and tell him that I would protect him. Mary seemed so peaceful. She told me about her brother who had died and been brought back to life by Jesus. Lazarus seemed fine to me, and so, I thought, perhaps this is the way it will happen with Jesus. But I was wrong.

The women cleaned up after Jesus and the disciples left. We were quite tired and so we pulled down the mats for sleeping. We talked a long time and I listened to the stories the women told about Jesus. Finally my eyes would no longer stay open. The next thing I knew Mary was shaking me awake. "They have arrested Jesus! Come on, we must go and find everyone else. We need to stay together. The authorities may come for us next." I was scared but I remember thinking that it would be okay...Jesus would save us. One of the women grabbed my cloth from the table where it had been left as we ran from the room. We found the other disciples and that was the beginning of the longest day of my life.

Jesus is dead now - crucified by the Romans. The emotions of this day have been a turmoil. We thought surely Pilate would release him and when that did not happen something inside of me broke apart. How could this man, who I had just come to know, be put to death? I saw him come out with the cross over his shoulder. He had been beaten and thorns woven into a crown were stuck into his brow. The woman with my cloth ran to him and wiped the blood from his eyes with the cloth. I thought of the woman in my store who refused the cloth because a drop of my Jewish blood had contaminated it. A Roman soldier shoved her away from Jesus and she fell but we ran to help her up. Her eyes found mine in sorrow. She said, "I'm so sorry, I have ruined your cloth." I held her as I told her it was alright. Some day I will tell her the story of the cloth.

Jesus is dead. Joseph, a friend of the disciples is going to Pilate to ask for Jesus' body. The sun is getting ready to set and we must get his body down from the cross and into the tomb before sundown. I don't know where the disciples are, but I am here at the cross with the other women. Jesus' mother is here too. Why did this happen? What will we do now? I do not want to leave these friends...

Another day in Jerusalem..

2010-03-31T14:43:00.000-07:00

From the Jerusalem woman:
Yesterday I worked at my loom finishing a piece of cloth for a customer. The cloth is for the wedding dress of a rich gentile woman. My cloth is soft and fine, made from cotton grown in the Galilee. As I took the cloth off of the loom so I could finish the edge, I caught my hand on one of the hooks. I didn't know it was bleeding until I saw the bright red drops on the fine fabric. I cried out and covered my hand with my apron. I caught the fabric and carried it to the bucket of water slipping the part with blood on it into the water. As I bandaged my hand, tears came to my eyes. It wasn't that my hand hurt or that I had soiled the fabric; I realized that the tears have been close to my eyes since I saw the man Jesus. I know he is going to die and I want to meet him. But I am a foolish woman!

I wiped the tears on my apron and finished bandaging my hand. I then carefully washed the corner of the fabric as best I could. The blood left the slightest stain which was very obvious to me, but then, I knew it was there. I finished the edge of the fabric and folded it. I had hardly put it down when the door to my shop opened and the gentile woman came in. I hoped she would buy the fabric quickly and leave, but instead she talked incessantly about her daughter's wedding - the food and wine they were going to serve; the flowers that would adorn her hair...on and on. Then she picked up the fabric allowing it to unfold. "What's this?" she asked looking at the still damp edge. "Oh, I replied, a bit of water..." "But," she continued, hardly giving me a chance to explain, "it's got a stain on it." "Oh," I replied, "but it's very small." And then the truth came out of my mouth, "I pricked my hand on a hook and just a drop of blood fell on the edge..." The woman dropped the cloth as if it were poison. "Your blood is on this cloth? The cloth for my daughter's wedding? I cannot possibly take it with a Jew's blood on it! You will have to weave another piece." I stepped back as if the woman had hit me. The woman continued in anger demanding that I weave another piece but I simply said, "No." After several more difficult exchanges she left the shop. I refolded the fabric and sat down. Why did I tell her the truth? Why not a lie?

I left the shop quickly and went back to the gathering place at the city gate where I had been the day before. There were even more people than before. As I sat watching the pilgrims come into the city for Passover, a woman sat down beside me. "It's getting crowded." "Yes," I replied, "I wish it were over." The woman looked at me and said, "You sound sad." "Yes," I replied, "I suppose I am. I don't like the festivals. I have no family here and I'm not very religious." We sat in silence for awhile. She touched my arm and said, "My friends and I are going to celebrate Passover together, will you come and join us?" Perhaps she saw the surprise in my eyes. "It's quite alright, we're from Bethany and we wish to gather with our teacher to celebrate the feast. There's always room for another and besides we will mostly be in the kitchen." "Your teacher?" "Yes, his name is Jesus and we...." I grabbed her arm before she could finish. "Jesus! Your teacher is Jesus?" She was calm as if she were used to such exclamations. And then she began to tell me about him. Soon she stopped herself: "Why don't you come for Passover to hear him?" I don't even remember going back to my shop, but soon I was at my loom, the events of the morning far away. I am going to get to meet Jesus...

Jerusalem Woman Speaks...

2010-03-30T06:02:00.000-07:00

Tuesday in Holy Week

Yesterday was such a fragmented day! I tried to get work done in my shop. I am a weaver of cloth and I like to spend 5 hours a day at the loom. Cloth sells well but it is hard to keep up with the demands. As I sat down at the loom to weave, I kept replaying the scenes from yesterday in my mind. That man! Jesus, sitting on a donkey as he rode through the cheering crowd with people coming up to him and touching him as if he were some sort of magic talisman. But that image always leads to the feeling I had when I looked into his eyes. I know he saw me. I was in the crowd but his eyes found mine...

I finally gave up on the loom and closed the shop. I left headed for a strip of shops at the gate of the city nearest the temple. I know the shop owners there. Close to the temple they hear all the latest news. I wanted to know more about the man with the kind eyes. There were so many people gathered around the entrance to the temple. This week is Passover and people are buying to prepare for their meals. There are hundreds of strangers in Jerusalem for the Passover. I am Jewish but I no longer observe the religious traditions. Sometimes I wish I were gentile so I wouldn't feel guilty about being non observant. My family were observant Jews but they are all dead and I am glad they don't have to see the corruption of our faith. The priests are just another oppressive structure. They may as well kiss the Roman authorities - it is a marriage of two corrupt and greedy institutions. I can afford to pay the taxes; and I guess that I could afford the temple fees but I will not indulge their greediness.

In the square near the gate to the city I found some friends who were full of news about this man Jesus. They said he went into the temple and, well, it sounds like he gave them a piece of his mind. I think I heard them say that he called the temple priests thieves! Oh, I would have loved to hear that! He made a mess by turning over the tables of the money changers and people were jumping to pick up their coins! I need to know more about this man.

Last night I went back to the square hoping that Jesus would be there with his group of followers so I could meet him but I learned that he had left the city to go back to Bethany. I heard rumors that he was staying with a family there. The story I heard then was phenomenal! One of the members of that family died and Jesus brought him back to life after he had been dead for 4 days! Rumors are so unpredictable... I'm sure that didn't happen, but it has everyone talking. I was standing not too far away from one of the temple guards who was speaking so loudly that anyone could hear him. He was saying that if Jesus tried to enter the temple again they would run him through with their swords! There is so much anger against Jesus. I wonder what the government could fear from this one gentle eyed man? But anger is everywhere - people are tired of the Roman oppression and they are tired of not having enough work and money. The air is electric with fear...Something bad is going to happen.

Palm Sunday

2010-03-28T10:55:00.000-07:00

Passion

Today is Passion Sunday and as we read the Passion Narrative during the service I saw in my mind the various places in Jerusalem. It was a combination of those places I visited in 1985 when I went to Israel on a spiritual pilgrimage and the Jerusalem of 2008 with walls and soldiers. The passionate struggle of both Palestinians and Jews to find a land and a home; a shared existence in a land we call "holy." I am listening once again to the book Exile by Richard North Patterson (published in 2007). I listened to the book several months before I went to Israel in November 2008 but I am finding it far more meaningful now. It is a very contemporary book about the Arab/Jew struggle. The experiences I had in Israel / Palestine - going through checkpoints, having guns pointed at me, and visiting many of the West Bank towns that Patterson writes about - makes the book far more plausible and real. It's worth reading.

In my very brief sermon today I suggested that each person find a "face" - a person - in the passion story to follow during Holy Week. There are so many "stories" that could be told about following Jesus through this week. How different the week must have been for each person who followed the drama of Jesus entering the city like a conquering hero. After seeing such an entrance I would want to meet this man and find out what he was about. Most of the time when I hear the Passion Narrative read I am overwhelmed with the emotions of the story, but this time I really tried to focus on individuals. I think I want to follow Jesus this week as a Jerusalem woman encountering Jesus for the first time as he enters the city on a donkey. I see her as someone who was pulled out of her shop by friends, "Come with us, something is happening! Someone is coming into the city from Bethany and people are saying that he is the Messiah!" If I heard those words today, I would want to go and see what was happening, even if I didn't believe my friends! Can you imagine getting to the spot where Jesus is passing by and seeing that he was riding on a donkey. Perhaps starting to turn away with laughter but then catching a look from his eyes and realizing that there was something there that held you. It would be hard not to spend the rest of the day trying to find out everything you could about this man. And so I believe the story of her "holy" week begins...

From the "holy" to the very, very ordinary things of life: I finished the rag rug I crocheted for my bathroom. It turned out pretty good and is nice and thick under my feet. This is a picture of the finished product:

Life Happening

2010-03-20T16:00:00.000-07:00

Hand Felted Pin

I have been on a "creating jag" lately. This is a pin created out of wool roving. The felt background was made by layering roving onto a brush and felting it with a 5 needled tool. Then other colors of roving was needle felted onto the background and a french knot added and a couple of beads. I tried to texture the pin by adding felt into areas and it worked out pretty well but I think I need to add more felt to achieve a more visible texture. Now I'm working on a rug for my bathroom. I finally found some bright colors in a shower curtain (one that was affordable!) and I have enough rag strips of colors that match (somewhat) the curtain so that I can crochet a rug. I just wanted to brighten the bathroom up for summer. Some of the most beautiful shower curtains I have seen were in The Pottery Barn catalog - bright reds, oranges and yellows. They were quite pricey however and after looking around I found a bright blue, yellow and green curtain at Target. I'm using a bright piece of cotton fabric that I brought home from South Africa in 1998 for the center. It's a wonderful way to remember that magnificent country. I will "picture it" when it's done.

Julia Betz deciding which necklace to wear!

Michael Betz loving Katie!

Saturday morning I cleaned out some drawers - my continuing search for a simple life - and I found a bag of Mardi Gras beads. I put them by the door to take with me on Sunday for Michael and Julia Betz - our organist, Cynthia Betz's 3 year old twins. After coming in from working in the yard I found a message on my answering machine from Jerry Betz, Cynthia's husband inviting me to come and play at the playground with them. So I took Katie and the beads and we spent some time playing. New Harmony is blessed with a wonderful Playtopia playground - a wonderland of things to do for kids. My little friends, Julia and Michael, talk their parents into driving over from Fairfield, Illinois to play! It was such a beautiful day and fun to see them having fun. So, I wonder when was the last time you sat with your legs like Julia's....?

New Life

2010-03-14T11:51:00.001-07:00

Trying Hard!

It is that time of year when it feels like we are standing on the train platform waiting for the right train to arrive. The cold weather comes in waves now interspersed by periods of warmer breezes and sunshine. And all of creation is poised ready for spring. The daffodils are through the ground but still encased in their coats waiting for a sunny day to unveil their beauty.

Today is the 4th Sunday of Lent and the lessons were all about new life. The Revised Common Lectionary includes all of Jesus' parables about "lost things" - the sheep, the coin and the prodigal son. As I read the rather long gospel I was amazed at the powerful reminder they are of God's unconditional love. I think there is something quite disturbing about the way God offers love and acceptance to us. It is comforting for sure but the fact that God accepts us as we are can be unsettling. I told the story of Chuck Colson's conversion this morning. He was a criminal about to be sentenced to prison when he turned to God. The media had a field day with his conversion. One reporter simply said it was all a "huge joke." Others thought it was ploy on Colson's part to get a reduced sentence. There's something in us that want to believe that a person needs to show up at God's door with a few "good works" in hand, and perhaps they even need to crawl up to the door showing their repentance. But God takes us where we are. And God takes us back over and over through the years as we too "wander into distant lands of self dependence.

We sang wonderful songs this morning for the lessons: "The King of love my shepherd is"; "Just as I am" and There's a wideness in God's mercy." The last verse of "There's a wideness in God's mercy" says it all:

For the love of God is broader

than the measure of man's mind;

and the heart of the Eternal

is most wonderfully kind.

If our love were but more faithful,

we should take him at his word;

and our life would be thanksgiving

for the goodness of the Lord.

Frederick William Faber - 1862

Lent is flying by!

2010-03-08T04:38:00.001-08:00

Swan Family

Near our house in New Harmony is a pond that "houses" a family of swans. The baby was born last summer and has really grown over the winter. This was taken on one of the two consecutive days of sunshine we had last week - those 2 days were life giving! Katie and I walk down to this pond most every day and the swans used to swim away quickly but they have now realized that Kate is on a leash and not a threat to them. If I took Katie off the leash she would be in the water in a heartbeat. She has always loved to swim, even when the water is cold.

The gospel lesson for yesterday was so provocative (Luke 13:1-9). It is a lesson that easily fits into our contemporary situation. Jesus is teaching and someone brings up a disaster that happened in Jerusalem. Some folks from Galilee have gone into the temple to make a sacrifice and Pilate takes soldiers into the temple and slaughters them. It was of course illegal for anyone but the priests of the temple to make sacrifices, but Pilate's action is really an over reaction - this brutal slaughter was unnecessary. The people in the crown want to know why these people had to suffer in this way. Isn't that our question when we read about the earthquakes in Haiti and Chile, and so many other violent situations in the news? Jesus is quick to point out that these Galileans were NOT being punished by God for their sin. They were no more guilty of sin than we are. Jesus uses another contemporary picture - a tower in Siloam falls on 18 people and kills them. They were not being punished for sin...it was an accident which resulted in tragic deaths. There is a quote from Frederick Buechner that I love: "God does not reveal his grand design to us. God reveals himself." Suffering happens and it comes into our lives in so many ways. Blaming our suffering or someone else's suffering on God as punishment for our sin is not helpful, nor is it a part of Jesus' teaching. Of course suffering can be a result of sinful actions, but it is our actions and not God's desire to punish.

The parable Jesus tells at the end of this lesson is one of grace. The owner of the fig orchard inspects his trees and finds one that is barren - it does not bear fruit. This owner instructs the gardener to cut the tree down - it is taking up good ground and doing nothing. The gardener asks the owner to give him one more year with the tree - he will feed it and fertilize it and perhaps next year it will bear fruit. I can hear Jesus' voice whispering into God's ear: I know the struggles of living in the world Father, give me time with your people. I will feed them and care for them and they will bear fruit. It is a picture of Jesus' participation in our suffering. There is no suffering Jesus has not experienced and he knows our hurt so well. This is comfort in the midst of so much misery in the world.

This "chain scarf" with the felted flower is part of what I have been up to lately. A friend from Fayetteville, NC came up to Sparta and together we went to our very favorite yarn store in Elkin, NC. Ruth Hutton is the owner of Circle of Friends Yarn Shop and Fiber Arts Store. She is an incredibly gifted woman and a great teacher. She did a felting class for us and we had so much fun. I found this scarf pattern at her store. It looks difficult but is really not that hard and so fun that it is addicting! I added the flower to soften the look of the chain. I learned to make felt from wool roving and then cut the flowers out. Ruth's store can be found at http://www.circleoffriendsnc.com/ and if you ever get to Elkin, NC go and visit her on Main Street. It is awesomely inspiring!

Yummy Colors in Ruth's Store!

The beginnings of a "Felted Easter Egg"

Contemplative Prayer...again!

2010-02-25T08:25:00.001-08:00

Stop the Snow Machine!

It is a beautiful morning here in the Smokey Mountains! The sun is shining and the sky is blue. The online weather says it is snowing in Sparta, NC and I will check that out later when I drive down into town to errands. It's seven miles into Sparta but all downhill and not unusual to find the weather different at the bottom of the hill!

I was so fidgety this morning when I sat down to pray. My mind was jumping all over the place and I could not be still. I wondered if it was alright to scratch my eye or change my position; and then, of course, I got carried away with these thoughts. I realized that I was observing myself praying and got distracted by that. I found it helpful to remember some words from Into the Silence by Martin Laird:

"We cannot reduce prayer to a technique... Contemplative prayer is a skill, a discipline that facilitates a process that is out of one's direct control, but it does not have the capacity to determine an outcome...Contemplation is a sheer gift. There is nothing we can do to bring forth its flowering, but there are important skills, without which it will be unlikely to flower."

I have not idea how long it took me to settle into a rhythm of silence because the gift of being away for rest means that I don't have to watch the clock or set a timer...I can just be in the silence. And so it was a "sheer gift" to be able to become still finally and let myself be a part of the stream of God's love. That's what it felt like for me on this cold, windy morning. I was somehow one with a river of Love that eventually wound through the cares and concerns of our lives. In Laird's book he quotes Teresa of Avila, "Beloved, there is much we can do to open ourselves to receiving his favors." God is always Self-giving; it is a question of removing the obstacles that make it difficult to receive this Self-gift. This receptivity is what contemplative practice cultivates."

I am grateful for this time of cultivation in the silence of my friends, these mountains. When I was a child living among these oldest of mountains, I called them my "purple hooded priests." That's how they looked to my 11 year old imagination in the evening light. I doubt I fully understood the concept of priest then, except I knew from somewhere that priests listened to confessions and I wanted that "listening presence." And I had it in the gift of these graceful peaks.

Lingering Winter

2010-02-23T13:50:00.000-08:00

Icicle Outside Church Office

I love the icicle pictured above - it looks like a bird in flight. Yesterday I drove to Sparta, NC for a week of rest and quiet. Katie (my intrepid golden retriever) and I got to the house around 5:30pm after 10 hours on the road. It's not a difficult trip but long. When we got into Virginia from Tennessee it became a snowy landscape. By the time we got to Galax, VA it was obvious they had been hit by the same storm that covered the east coast. I think their snow began in December and they haven't seen the ground since!

I took the Blue Ridge Parkway from Galax to Glade Valley where the house is. There was still a good bit of ice and snow on the road and evidence of lots of fallen trees which someone had cleared. That part of the Parkway is used quite a bit for local traffic. There were deer everywhere! I was so grateful it was still daylight so I could see them. The deer here are gray colored instead of the brown beauties in Indiana. We got into the house to find a foot of snow still remaining on the ground. Katie and I spent the night without heat due to a furnace problem. Wonderful folks from the company I use came out to help and make the diagnosis. We were fine - Katie generates enough heat for a small country! And today everything is fixed and the driveway cleared. I did see a fun sign on a church in Galax - "GOD LOVES YOU SNOW MUCH!" Clever. I drove down to Elkin, NC today for a few things. It's 23 miles and when I started back it was 56 degrees in Elkin and 41 degrees at the house. Amazing what a couple of thousand feet in elevation can do!

The silence here is so wonderful. It is a wonderful place for prayer. I am amazed still at how time seems to stand still in the silence of meditation. I have been working my way towards 30 minutes of meditation each day. Twenty minutes is the most I have been able to do so far. I don't really think about the time but try to let myself end where it feels comfortable - sometimes that is 10 minutes, sometimes more or less. I keep reminding myself that this is not a contest, not a race, it is about being with God, being silent and listening. I do know that when I end my time I feel like the world is bathed in quiet. I want to whisper so as not to disturb. Wonderful!

Two Books for Lent

2010-02-15T12:18:00.000-08:00

Forty Days to a Closer Walk with God: The Practice of Centering Prayer

by J. David Muyskens

Into a Silent Land: A Guide to the Christian Practice of Contemplation

by Martin Laird

The book by Laird pictured above was sent to me recently by a friend. Many books on contemplative prayer are difficult to read and hard to follow. This book, which I am halfway through, makes contemplative prayer accessible. It is an encouraging book which gives clear direction to those of us who want to find that place of silence where we know God's presence. Martin Laird, who is a professor in the Department of Theology and Religious Studies at Villanova University, talks about God being our "homeland" (from St. Augustine's The City of God: "We must fly to our beloved homeland"). That is just one of the evocative images that Laird uses in describing the practice of contemplative prayer. In the opening chapter, Laird talks about our desire to see the mountaintop experiences with God. Discovering God in the silence of contemplative prayer is more about becoming part of the mountain. Finding stillness is about allowing the patterns of life's weather swirl around us. We are part of that which cannot be moved. Laird points to Psalm 123:7 "Whoever trusts in the Lord is like Mount Zion: Unshakable it stands forever."

Over the past couple of weeks I have been setting aside time each day to practice this contemplation. I am still in a very beginning place with contemplation, but the encouragement and help I am receiving from this book is wonderful. A couple of times (okay, more than a couple!) I have gone to sleep after about 10 minutes of prayer. I tried to avoid feeling guilty about this and realized that the profound relaxation of this kind of prayer is something I am not used to. So, gradually I am getting more aware of that place of relaxation and how I can enjoy its comfort without falling asleep.

The other book I am going to use is the one at the top of the page which has 40 small chapters (1 to 2 pages) - one for each of the weekdays in Lent. I am longing to let this Lent be a time of finding God in stillness and quiet. I am sure in my heart and mind there are other motives for this discipline - like, it will make me a better priest, or it will somehow make me more quiet of heart and mind - but my conscious desire is to draw close to God and find a place where I can find shelter from the weather of life. I hope to write more over the days of Lent about what I am learning about contemplative prayer in my life.

On a more mundane (should I say, earthly?) plane, we had about 6 inches of snow last night. The wind was quite high with it and so I now have some places in my backyard (on the north side of the house) where snow is a good 18 inches high. I have shoveled out a path down to the lower part of the yard this afternoon. Katie was with me and at one point I looked around and she was just lying in the snow watching me. She has always loved to be "cool." I have a picture of her lying on a mound of ice where someone emptied a cooler when we lived in Fayetteville, NC...but that was in July! Anyway we got the job done and fed the birds while we were out. A good snow day here in Indiana!

Valentines and Ashes

2010-02-13T14:34:00.000-08:00

Shadow of Cross on Iona

This is the last Sunday of Epiphany. Lent begins this week with Ash Wednesday and tomorrow is Valentine's Day. And...if those are not enough images we have the Transfiguration of Jesus as the gospel lesson tomorrow! It is a feast of images! And the choice is not just of images to fill our minds. We also have to decide what we will DO for Lent. Will we "give up" our favorite thing to feel some sense of sacrifice? Or shall we "take on" a new discipline to strengthen our spiritual life?

Peter and James and John went with Jesus up onto the mountain. It's possible that they thought this would be a time for rest, or a chance for intimate conversation with Jesus - perhaps he would reveal his deepest secrets to them. Revelation does occur on the mountain. Jesus is revealed as the fulfillment of both the law (through Moses) and the prophets (through Elijah); and he is revealed as God's Son. "Listen to him!" says God, for he is the Chosen One.

Can it really be that simple? Does it all come down to that one act of listening? Perhaps there is nothing so important in our lives as listening. How many arguments; how much pain has been wrought because we did not listen? How many opportunities have we missed by not hearing? Oh, if we could only go back and listen, really listen to our parents, spouses, friends, doctors, and co-workers. So maybe, just maybe, our Lenten discipline should be to listen. To stop all the furtive activity of life and spend time listening. We could begin each day just sitting in silence listening for God's heart beating in ours and for God's love echoing through the creation. We could continue during the day by stilling the replys and lists we are forming in our minds as others talk and instead...just listen. What would we hear...?

Mid week thoughts

2010-02-10T14:53:00.001-08:00

New Harmony must be on the "flight path" for the geese as they navigate between summer and winter homes. The past few weeks they have been on the move north. The sky is thick with them as they come overhead to follow the Wabash north along the Indiana / Illinois line. This winter I feel like they are a tad on the early side. We have had one snow storm after another with temperatures in the teens. But there they are winging their way north into even colder temperatures and frozen lakes. They are quite noisy as hundreds of them fly together. We get to see them a lot in the early morning when we are out mushing around in the snowy backyard.

A friend sent me a news report from the Church of England Synod today saying that the conservative priests in the C of E are threatening a mass exodus to Rome if the Synod approves a resolution to allow women priests in England to become bishops. I have several feelings about this. It seems to me that they are holding the C of E hostage to get their way in a matter that was really decided when they chose to ordain women priests. If a woman priest is gifted and called to the episcopate is it impossible that it can be God's call? I know that those priests who are making this demand base it on scripture's witness of a male dominated church and some of Paul's statements about women. I hope that we have come further in both our understanding of Middle Eastern culture and the interpretation of scripture than this. When I was in Rome last year we went to the Catacombs of Pricillia just outside of Rome. We went there because one of the paintings on the wall (which date from the 2nd and 3rd centuries CE) is of a woman in the "orans" posture. This is the posture one assumes when celebrating Eucharist - arms outstretched. It is thought to be an early picture of a woman presbyter. So, I think Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury should tell the men who are threatening to leave that he will not negotiate on this matter. I know that Pope Benedict will joyfully receive those priests...and their wives!

Epiphany V

2010-02-05T16:10:00.000-08:00

Fishing with Jesus

Jesus tells the disciples who have fished all night and caught nothing, to put their nets out into the deep water. (Luke 5:1-11) I don't like deep water. Oh, I don't mind it in the swimming pool where you can see the bottom. I can swim and when I get tired I can float. What I don't like about the deep water of a lake or the ocean is that you can't always see what's out there with you. What if there are undesirable creatures lurking out there in the deep. It's so hard to know when you cast out your net into the deep exactly what you will get back!

It's the fear we all face when we find out that God wants us to fish for people. What about all those unusual fish out there in the deep waters of life? What if we catch one of those in our net? What do we do then? It's enough to make you stop fishing, which is what most of us have done. Church attendance is down and we blame it on the secularization of our society. The main reason we don't have more people in church is that we have quit fishing. When was the last time you or I invited someone to church - one of those folks in the deep water of life? Fishing is not easy work - ask anyone who fishes. It takes time and hard work.

Jesus got my attention with this bit of fishing advice. Perhaps I can overcome my fear of deep waters...

Lost Things

2010-02-01T05:15:00.001-08:00

Stone Spiral

Some times I feel like I am walking in circles. I spend so much time looking for lost things and I retrace my steps over and over looking for the thing I have misplaced or lost. The real frustration of all this activity is that I usually find the thing I'm so desperately searching for when I least expect it (and, sigh...not when I need it). I am perplexed by several things which I have lost lately. One very important item I have lost recently is the cord that transfers pictures from my camera to the computer. I have searched for it everywhere I can think of and I suspect I have thrown it into the trash by mistake. I wish I could just remember when I last saw it, but alas, I am growing older and ...

The awareness of "creeping senility" is supplemented by another lost item - my double pointed knitting needles. I picked them up recently (last week) to move them - I remember having them in my hand, but you guessed it, I can't remember where I put them! I have looked in and under all the usual places but cannot find them. I wonder if the "prodigal" needles will come home or should I make a trip to the store to replace them. I think of the parables that Jesus told about "lost" things: the lost sheep, the lost coin and the lost son (Luke 15). My angst over mundane things like a camera cord and knitting needles is less than noteworthy compared to God's grief when we become lost from God. We wander, we stray, we go to "foreign" countries; and then in those grace - filled moments of revelation we see how far we are from home. It is in those moments that we, like the prodigal son, run toward God. It always startles me to find God running in my direction to meet me.

I remember studying the parable of the "Lost Son" and realizing that for the father to run to the son who returned, he had to lift his robe. Showing one's legs in that culture was an embarrassment. But the father was so longing for the son's return that this embarrassment was nothing to him. In the same way God gives up every thing to pursue us. I am grateful...

Well, I am now on to the big event of today - trying to catch Pumpkin to put her in her carrier for a trip to the vet. It's her yearly physical and usually results in a lot of drama. But what are Mondays for...?

Pumpkin - in one of her "better" moments!

Winter

2010-01-27T05:19:00.001-08:00

Winter Walk

I took this picture in December while I was at our clergy Advent retreat. We were at our Diocesan Camp and Conference Center, Waycross. It is near Bloomington, IN in the Brown Mountains. It takes about 3 1/2 hours to get there from New Harmony and it is a lovely spot especially for quiet reflection.

I found a folder with some of my writing - stories and poems - while cleaning out some papers. One of the pieces was a reflection I did just a few days after 9/11. I was living in Albuquerque, NM at the time. My home was out on the west side of Albuquerque in a new housing development surrounded by wonderful desert mesas. My faithful Katie was a much younger golden retriever then and we loved to go out walking on the mesas every morning. I realize in these journal entries my continuing struggle to understand reconciliation. From September 13, 2001:

"Walking on the desert these past couple of mornings has been comfort to my soul. I feel blown apart by my own conflicting emotions. I weep, but no real relief comes. It is a matter of coughing up the wracking sobs within until I can breathe easier. I look at the pictures of wreckage and pain. I hear the stories. I listen to the analysis and I grow quieter. I have no words to say to others. Inside I am guarding my heart. For I know that there is another shoe to drop. The word RETALIATION rises up. And against it constantly vibrating is the word

VENGEANCE

My head aches with this word which vibrates. More lives will be lost. More pain. More anger. Where does it end? And so I ask, God comfort us with the balm of Gilead. Oh how I have come to love the comfort of the desert and the wildness of God's creation. It was raining this morning when Katie and I ventured out. Out into the sand and mud in search of treasures and bunnies and good smells. I love to watch Katie as she scares a bunny out of hiding and it flies across the desert to safety with Katie in pursuit. And I am thinking, 'Fear not bunny, Katie is a slow footed lover who only wants the chase.' I laugh at her, but I know she is serious in escorting bunnies to their homes. She is puzzled by their tiny homes and the crevices that they squeeze into. She lingers, sniffing, waiting for an invitation in. But even though she is fluffy, she will not fit. I love her innocent face - 'Where did they go Mama?' And so we go home to have coffee and wonder about a time when lions and lambs, and bunnies and golden retrievers will lie down together in peace."

Again...A New Start

2010-01-23T16:24:00.000-08:00

505 Granary Street - Home Away From Home

It's been a long time since I posted on my blog. I thought a new look might be appropriate for a new beginning. The above picture is part of why I have not been posting. In December we moved our church office across the street from the old parish house in order to start construction on the new parish house. We are currently housed in the Mother Superior House, a guest house of the Blaffer Foundation here in New Harmony. The front of the house is still a lovely guest house and we occupy the back part. The middle of this house is an old log cabin which was used by the Harmonists. It has a deep iron kettle set into one corner. It may have been used for cooking or for dying fabrics with indigo. Although it is a small space, we are having our coffee hours here. The other part of the house is a Harmonist built house. Glenda's office is in one room and mine in another. Moving a church office, even if it is just across the street, is a huge process. it took us 3 weeks to get the phones and internet straight with AT and T. The construction on the new parish house went well in December while the weather was better. It's been either too cold or too wet this month for construction. It's good to have it under way.

Window on the West Wall of St. Stephen's

This window at St. Stephen's really lights up in the late afternoons. The gospel lesson tomorrow is about Jesus teaching in the synagogue. He comes home to Nazareth and attends Sabbath services with his family. During the worship he is handed the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. He reads Isaiah's words: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Then Jesus preaches a sermon of one sentence: "Today this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing." Luke's telling of this incident is dramatic. I think Luke wants us to gasp with incredulity at Jesus' words. "Who is this guy and how can he say this?" Of course there are no surprises for us - we know who he is and we know the end of the story. It must have been quite an epiphany for the people gathered in the synagogue. If you had been there would you have followed this man? Sometimes I still wonder if we (including myself) who know the whole story are ready to follow Jesus? The purpose Jesus has set before us (bringing good news to the poor, etc...) is an enormous task. Only with God's help can I make even the first step towards following; only with God's help...

Another year ends

2009-11-21T12:47:00.000-08:00

Leaf Labyrinth at the Harmonist Cemetery

Ben Nicholson created a labyrinth out of leaves at the Harmonist Cemetery. Of course its gone now but while it was there it was both lovely and fun to walk. I would call it a "high maintenance" labyrinth because the wind wanted to redesign the path! Ben persevered and a number of folks came to walk. It was one of those lovely fall days which we have had in abundance this year. Today it is in the 60's and sunny in that hazy fall way. Katie and I just got back from our afternoon walk and I decided to break my long absence from this blog to write again. Yes, it has been busy and once again our little parish seems to be plagued with pastoral problems; but I have missed the outlet of writing here.

Tomorrow is Christ the King Sunday and it marks the last Sunday of the Church year. Next Sunday is Advent I and we turn our hearts hopefully toward Jesus coming among us in the Incarnation. I relished in cleaning the house yesterday, getting down the cobwebs of summer and rearranging the furniture so I can sit in the late afternoon sun as I write and do my "projects." It means so much to bask in those last rays on these short days. As I scrubbed and vacuumed I focused on making my home ready for Jesus. I am always hopeful that all that I do in these weeks of Advent will be preparation for Jesus' coming. Every Christmas light and decoration will be placed to honor his arrival; every present bought and wrapped to celebrate his birth; all of my "devotions" will prepare my heart as a place for him to live. Those are my best intentions which are not always realized and yet my heart is open.

I saw a car in Evansville last week that had a sticker on it reading "Psalm 109.8." Being the curious sort I looked it up and found that it read, "Let his days be few; and let another take his office." I looked online and found that this verse has become a slogan for those who dislike President Obama. I felt my own fear level rise several notches as I read the next verse of the Psalm: "Let his children be fatherless and his wife a widow." It has surprised me the number of people who have made racially derogatory remarks to me about Obama. I don't say much at all in the way of political affairs to anyone but close friends. As a minister in a very small town I try to stay away from those political "pitfalls" although it probably wouldn't be hard for folks to guess where I stand. I know that President Obama has made some controversial decisions but I can't remember a President of the US that hasn't made controversial decisions. Some of those previously made decisions were quite distasteful to me and yet I can't remember ever thinking, "I wish he were dead." I find it quite hard to listen to people who demonize someone because they are African - American, Muslim, Native American, Hindu, Jewish, or any one who is different. The color of some one's skin, or the way someone worships does not render them dirty, or ignorant, or terrorist. Any of us can be those things and we forget that. I pray that President Obama and his family are kept in the palm of God's hand, safe from harm.

Mickey Grimm - the longest drum roll!

Mickey Grimm is a percussionist who lives here in New Harmony. He and his wife Molly are musicians from Nashville who moved here several years ago. Recently Mickey undertook the project of accomplishing the longest drum roll for the Guinness Book of Records. He performed this feat at the Coffee Shop on a Saturday afternoon. He did it to raise money for the repair of our town clock. It was successful on many fronts - financial and accomplished time. I can't tell you exactly how long he performed the drum roll but by saying "several hours" you will get the picture of the kind of perseverance it took! You just never know what you will run into in this little town! Way to go Mickey!!

Signs

2009-10-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

Inspiration

It is a rainy day in the mountains of North Carolina where Katie and I are taking some days of rest. Yesterday was beautiful - sunny, warm and glorious colors! I guess it was my one day of "Indian Summer." But today has its own sort of beauty. Katie and I took an early morning walk in the rain. I saw a few deer which Kate did not see because her nose was to the ground...such good smells here! Most of the deer were in the fleeing mode because we are tramping on their turf, but it was lovely to see their warm brown bodies and beautiful white tails. I'm getting ready to make preparations for beef stew. It will cook most of the afternoon and fill the house with a fragrance better than Febreeze!

I've had this poem in mind for sometime now but it didn't hit paper until last night. I'm not sure it's in final form but close.

Signs

“You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky,
but you do not know how to interpret the signs of the times.”*

Squirrels run, finding
secret places for seeds and nuts.
Woolly worms act suicidal,
crossing hot asphalt,
showing off thick, dark coats.
Branches weighted with berries
drape themselves thickly over fences.
They are the fabric of winter food.

We read these signs like an almanac.
We trust the squirrel, the worm, the berry
to tell us the ways of nature.
Global warming says prepare to thaw.
Signs in nature cancel those preparations.
Careful and watchful – we are
the interpreters of nature’s ways.

How shall we interpret our times?
The newspaper and post office dwindle.
We are electronic; quick as a synapse.
Every day we speed toward
overcoming all that ails in life.
Soon we will not need to fear microbe or neutron.
We trust progress as the sign of a good life

History offers its signs as well.
We make war over and over,
with the same people.
We are curved inward and preoccupied with self.
Preparing for war, building walls
that separate each one from the next;
we trust no one.

Within history is a sign so pure
that all other signs blare false,
and all other news contributes little.
We watch as water, oil, bread and wine
become signs of love that will not cease.
This love is the true sign of the One
who made us in their image –
to be a sign of love to the world.

* Matthew 16:4
mah - 10/2009

Volunteers!

2009-10-03T14:04:00.001-07:00

Trusses in place!

This morning I volunteered at the Habitat for Humanity house being built here in New Harmony. The house is being built by Habitat for the daughter of a parishioner. Lori is handicapped due to a brain injury. She uses a motorized wheelchair and can get around well in that. Lori is able to do a lot of things for herself and is able to live alone. She has been living in Evansville but that means she is 45 minutes to an hour away from her parents and support system here in New Harmony. This house is such a wonderful thing for Lori and her family and we are all pitching in to help get it done. And speaking of "getting it done," today was a great example of that. When I got to the site at about 7:30am there were no trusses up, and when I left at noon the trusses were in place and most of the decking for the roof! These volunteers are amazing. There were people there from New Harmony, Evansville, Illinois and lots of other places. One of the volunteers from Evansville is a man named Jack. Jack is 81 years old and he has worked on almost all of the houses Habitat has built in this area. He is the "unofficial" foreman of the crew who hops around showing others how to do things and helping with almost every aspect. I met a woman named Charlene whose house in Evansville was destroyed by a Tornado and Habitat built her present house. She has become a Habitat 'junkie." And I can see why. The atmosphere is enormously positive and everyone is helping one another. If conflicts arise they are quietly mediated and forgotten because there is a bigger issue at stake - a home for someone who needs it.

Welcome Home, Lori!

I got a piece of the action (so to speak) as I hammered nails into the seats for the trusses after they were in place and made marks to guide those who will put on the siding. There was very little "the novices" could do while the crane swung the trusses in place. It is probably the most dangerous time on the site but this one went like clockwork! When I drove away at noon I was astounded at the progress. Just what could we do if everyone gave 4 hours of volunteer service each week to work towards overcoming a pressing need in the world? And just how much better would we be able to relate to our neighbors if we spent some time working alongside of them and/or providing for their needs. I have been a supporter of Habitat for a long time and now I know first hand how crucial it is to be there! I am looking forward to going back next Saturday to help with whatever the needs are...

Fall Festival Time!

2009-09-22T15:52:00.000-07:00

Saturday morning at Kunstfest

The saints at St. Stephen's began the Kunstfest festival early on Saturday morning as all the other booths geared up for the day. We had about 30 volunteers for the 2 days of the festival. The days were divided into shifts and everyone worked hard. Saturday was a beautiful, warm fall day and the crowds in town were having fun visiting all the variety of booths and businesses. There were so many choices of food available from the local establishments and various organizations that it would have been hard to choose. St. Stephen's sold grilled pork tenderloin sandwiches. For those of you who have never had this Hoosier favorite it is a thinly sliced piece of pork tenderloin that has been hammered with a meat mallet. It is grilled and served on a bun with dill pickles, lettuce and onions (any or all of these) and your condiment of choice. Here in Indiana it is often breaded and deep fried, but grilled is better. Our locally prepared tenderloins are huge and they sell well. We sold 500 sandwiches on Saturday! We also had 100 Kuchens (German coffee cake) made by our members which we sold out on during Saturday. It was a busy day!

The view towards the middle of town from St. Stephen's

On Sunday the festival begins at 11am - we had our coffee hour outside in front of the church as we prepared for another day raising money. Sunday's weather was not cooperative - it was off and on rainy and the crowds of Saturday did not materialize. We still did a good bit of business and by 5pm we were all ready for Kunstfest to be over. We made about $4000 for our various mission and outreach projects. For me the greatest significance of the weekend was the teamwork. Parishioners who volunteered gave so much of themselves not just to the fundraising project but to each other.

It seems that a common goal brings out the best in us. We find ways to get around the things that divide us when we are working together. Of course it takes a willingness to put our personal feelings aside and become a team of people who are together for a greater good. I continue to wonder how some people are able to let go of hurt feelings to work together and others allow those hurts to become walls. Is it that old hurts get reactivated causing an autonomic action (reaction)? This kind of reaction seems to be so powerful that forgiveness can't break in and logic fails us. I know what that reaction feels like. It is so powerful that even when my heart reveals my own self-indulgent pride to me, I still am paralyzed by the hurt. It feels physiological - like adrenaline being released when we need to flee a dangerous situation. I think this is a crucial part of being open to reconciliation - to come together with those who have hurt us and allow the Holy Spirit to make space in us. Perhaps the space is for forgiveness, or space to listen to the other person, or just to "see" the other person. All of those things, it seems, are necessary for reconciliation - space, listening, seeing the other person.

Just in time for Halloween

It was cool and moist this morning and this spider web was just begging to have its picture taken. I think the Halloween decorations have been displayed since early September. There is even a store in Evansville called "The Halloween Store" - it opened in September. Of course the Christmas decorations are not far behind and in some stores they are intermingled with the Halloween stuff! I'm sure struggling with this...

Another Week

2009-09-13T16:55:00.000-07:00

The tops of the trees are edged with gold and red. The sunlight hitting them hints at what the world around us will soon look like as fall moves in quickly. At St. Stephen's we are preparing for New Harmony's fall festival, Kunstfest. The German origins of the town give rise to this yearly celebration which brings visitors from all over southwestern Indiana. All of the organizations, businesses, and churches in this small town put our wares out for sale. In the process we have a lot of fun and earn some money for our various projects. St. Stephen's sells German Kuchens (coffeecake), pork tenderloin sandwiches (an Indiana favorite) and jars of soup and cookie mix. In past years we have earned $4 - 5,000 for our outreach ministries. It is a lot of work for a small parish like ours but everyone really pulls together. Parishioners cook around 100 Kuchens to sell - they go like hotcakes! These folks are troopers!

Felted Pin

This is a not so clear picture of a pin I made recently. It has some beading on it which doesn't really show up in this picture. The piece of copper is a wonderful old piece of junk which I picked up walking on the mesa when I lived in Albuquerque. The background is a piece of wool felt with silk thread felted into it. It was a fun piece to make and gave me a lot of ideas for other pieces to make.

Indiana Pink

This is early morning in my backyard. It's a great place to be in the morning because the light is always different. I think God is truly an artist, and one who paints with the whole palette!

Late Summer Musings

2009-09-02T05:34:00.001-07:00

Religious Cat?

I know I have shown Pumpkin (my cat) under the rose bushes with Jesus before, but she really does "hang out" there often. She goes out when I take Katie out in the morning and we usually find her sitting by Jesus when we come back up the hill. Maybe she feels secure with this "person" who never moves. I guess there is some good theology in that. It is often said that when we feel far away from God, it is not because God has moved away - we are the ones who move. God is steady in his presence just as my statue of Jesus is firmly fixed in the rose garden. A couple of weeks ago you would not have been able to see Pumpkin or Jesus in this garden. The wild mint and Irises, and other flowering plants had grown up around the roses and Jesus. I cleaned it out and trimmed the Iris down for winter - I found Jesus! I first looked at this house 5 years ago, thinking I would like to buy it. At that time Jesus was sitting on the stump of a tree in the back yard. The person who bought the house then put in the Iris bed and flowers around Jesus. When I bought the house 3 years ago Jesus was still on the stump. But over the first two years I lived here the stump disintegrated and I filled the garden in with more mulch and fixed Jesus in the middle. So through the disintegrating vagaries of life Jesus has really never moved. I love that reminder each day when I stroll through the back yard with my "girls."

Katie Scarlett O'Hara Honaker 2009

Speaking of my "girls" here is an updated picture of Katie. I took her out to the Nursing Home here in New Harmony yesterday. We went into the Alzheimer's Unit and visited one of her dearest friends who used to be at the Ford Home (a home for women). Virginia was moved to the Nursing Home when she could no longer take care of herself at the Ford Home. Katie used to spend one morning a week with Virginia at the Ford Home. I don't know if she recognized me or Katie yesterday but the smile on her face was worth the visit. Watching her cradle Katie's face in her two hands and lean close to kiss her brought tears to my eyes. It reminded me how much animals minister to our hearts. Each person we visited yesterday was carefully loved by Katie's sweet presence. She seems to know when she is "working", and she can work a room like nobody else. She means to get all the pats and ear rubs she can get. It is such "mutual satisfaction"!

Prairie Sky

Doesn't this just look like a Georgia O'Keefe painting? The sky here is so big. Sometimes I feel like I am living in a big bowl. The fields lately have been so green with corn and soybeans - it looks like an ocean of green stretching out as far as you can see. I don't think I could ever get entirely comfortable with this huge openness. I am too conditioned to the mountains. I like the way I feel held by the mountains - snuggled down into their presence. I get a little antsy sometimes with all this open sky and field. But most of the time I just revel in the beauty of it all. I love the way the fields change with each season. Soon the corn will turn brown and the contrast with the soybean fields will be dramatic. The soybeans turn beautiful shades of orange and gold as they ripen and dry. So much beauty... Check out my wonderful niece's blog www.brettaogburn.blogspot.com for some beautiful photograpy. She is such a gifted artist and her project of journaling through the year with photos is fabulous.

Indiana Home

2009-08-20T04:57:00.000-07:00

North Carolina's Showy Weeds!

I got back to New Harmony on Tuesday afternoon. The drive is not difficult, just long! Fortunately, I like to drive and on this journey I listened to the last Harry Potter book on tape. The book, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, is long so it lasted for both portions of the trip. This is the second time I have listened to it and this time I caught more of the clever and at times brilliant associations that Rowling makes to our faith journey. Harry and his two companions, Hermione and Ron, are on the run from Lord Voldemort in the story. Dumbledore, who was the head master of Hogwort's School is dead; but he left each of them something which would help them in their quest to end Voldemort's evil. He left Ron a "deluminator" which puts out light. Ron becomes disillusioned with the journey, gets mad and leaves Harry and Hermione in the midst of the quest. As soon as he leaves however, he is sorry for his angry outburst and wishes to return. The magical powers of the "deluminator" allow him to eventually find the two just in time to save Harry's life. After the three are safely reunited Ron tells the other two how Dumbledore's "deluminator" helped him find them. Ron says, "I reckon Dumbledore knew I would leave you and he gave me the "deluminator." But Harry says, "He gave it to you because he knew you would come back." Harry sees with the eyes of faith, I think. God gives us the Holy Spirit at Baptism not because he knows we will all stray away from his love, but because he knows that we will come back to him over and over no matter how far we stray or how long we are gone. He gives us himself because he knows we will return.

Mountain Mushrooms

I think these are one of God's most clever creations! I haven't a clue what they are called but they rise up out of the leafy floor of the forest like towers. And the contrast of colors between the mushrooms and the other colors is spectacular! I love the way they grow in little "communities." They seem to have a natural knowledge that they need others to grow.

Knitted Bookmark

While I was in NC, a friend from Fayetteville, Mary Mac, shared a little book of knitting patterns with me. The little book is old and shows how to do a variety of lacy knitted stitches. This one is particularly pretty and so I made a bookmark with it. It was fun to do and when I finished I threaded some ribbon I had through the edges to give it some color. I will definintely do some more of these...

August Already!

2009-08-11T15:47:00.000-07:00

Soybeans in My Backyard!

This week (August 10 - 18) is a week of vacation for me and I am in Sparta, NC enjoying the mountains. I am so glad for a chance to have some quiet time. Last week was quite difficult for our household. As the week progressed I began to realize that Isabelle (my lovely, young golden retreiver) was not working out. I have worked with her almost everyday seeking to "detoxify" her relationship (or lack thereof) with my cat Pumpkin. On Wednesday, she chased Pumpkin again with just as much determination in her eyes as before. Then on Thursday she wrapped the leash around my leg in a wild frenzy to get at a bunny rabbit. The leash burned my leg quite badly. Finally, on Friday, I made a decision to let her go for adoption. Everytime I looked at her I cried. A very good friend in Mt. Vernon, IN has taken Isabelle to find her a home. I hope we gave her some new skills to adjust in another home. On Friday afternoon I took Katie out in the backyard for a stroll. As we came up from the soybean field back toward the house, my neighbor's bull terrier came around the fence and attacked Katie. I pulled him off of her but then fell and he attacked her again! She sustained a bad laceration to her ear as well as being rolled over several times. My neighbor finally got him off of Kate. She required stitches at the emergency vet hospital in Evansville. Katie is 12 years old and arthritic so this attack was hard on her. By Sunday she was doing much better and back to her old irrascible self!

Decisions, like giving Isabelle, are so hard. I had been struggling with this one for several weeks. I so wish at times like this that God would send an angel with a message! I think probably God does send those angels. I also think that we are so busy that we miss most of them! Last week at the beginning of the week I began spending some time during my morning prayers on quiet meditation. I was trying as much as possible to get my psyche quiet. On Thursday afternoon after a meeting at church I sat down with a wonderful man in our congregation to talk about several things. I told him about my struggles with Isabelle and he didn't tell me to let her go but he listened and just confirmed some of the things I was feeling. It was so helpful in making the decision. I know that sometimes I am too busy and hurried to even let those conversations happen. I came close that evening because I was having dinner with friends and was running late. In the end there was time for both - the conversation and dinner! I hope I can remember this event the next time I get so busy and hurried!

Crepe Myrtle

The ever growing soybeans in the field at the edge of my backyard and this flamingly beautiful Crepe Myrtle over the eastern edge of the yard are sure signs to me that fall is closing in on us. In southwestern Indiana we are just now beginning to enjoy (?) the heat of summer. The first part of our summer was relatively cool and very rainy, but last week was steamy and hot. The picture above was taken early one morning with the sun just beginning to arrive. I love watching the seasons change. The corn fields are golden with tassels now and the corn itself is over 6 feet tall! Soon it will be turning brown and readying for harvest. Here in NC, the plants on the sides of the roads are the "give - aways" for seasons for me - along with tobacco turning yellow in the fields!

I've been sewing some lately. I love being able to sew. I know why my mother loved to sew - it is (when things go well) such satisfying work. The colors of fabrics, the technical aspect of threading a sewing machine and just watching fabric come together in a meaningful way are all so much a part of my life. I remember sitting under my mother's sewing machine as a little girl glueing pieces of leftover fabric together. Finally when I was old enough she taught me to use a needle and thread and last of all the sewing machine. Sometimes I think it is part of my DNA! I don't sew as well as my mom but it still makes me feel creative and gives me joy. Below is a picture of a tote bag that I made for a friend for her birthday.

It's a dog's world...

2009-07-27T05:47:00.000-07:00

It is a dog's world!

It has been an intense time around our house. Dealing with issues of barking and feline relations has been stressful for all of us. Last week Isabelle got me up at 3am almost every day barking in her crate. The old remedy for barking: letting them bark without giving in to their need for attention - only works if you live in the country. My neighbors just don't deserve that! We have now made several modifications in routine that are helping. Just this weekend we seem to have made a leap of progress. Isabelle is sleeping in her crate better with much less barking. I am reading everything I can get my hands on about dealing with her (and ultimately my) issues. I know that so much of her ability to be a great dog depends on my ablility to give her good boundaries. I made a "shake can" by putting coins in a tin container. I now shake it when she starts barking at or harrassing the cat. It sure gets her attention off of the cat. Perhaps Pumpkin will get out from under the bed a little more...

Yesterday morning after everyone was fed and I was ready for church I sat down to read through my sermon several times. I did that and then I closed my eyes to pray and woke up 40 minutes later! For a moment I didn't know what day it was - both of the dogs were asleep at my feet. Then I looked at my watch - it was 7:55am - and I had an 8:00am service! I hustled myself over to the church and several folks were there (it's never a big crowd). They were all worried that something had happened to me. Finally, as they were helping me get everything ready, someone said, "What happened?" I said, "I hoped no one would ask that question!" Then I told them what happened - everyone laughed and teased me. They were very understanding. I love the 8:00 am service. It is a quiet time with a small group of people - no music, just the liturgy. The 10:00 service yesterday seemed chaotic to me. We were learning a new piece of music with a new organist who is being trained by our present organist. Sally has filled in admirably since Kathleen's death but she doesn't want to do this full time. My acolyte was a wonderful man in the congregation who grew up in the Episcopal Church. It was his first time acolyting here and we made our way through the service without too much confusion, but I felt frazzled. I hope that didn't get communicated to the congregation. Sometimes worship goes so smoothly and other times it feels like you have a rope over your shoulder pulling everyone along.

Pepper Jelly

Last Friday I made this pepper jelly which did not "jell". So yesterday I put it back in the pot, added a bit more sugar and sure jell and boiled it longer. I put it in the jars and it is still not jelly but it is thicker. So I will give it to folks as "pepper glaze for pork". It has a great taste - sweet sour with a bit of a kick. I just don't have the heart to "reboil." It is pretty to look at and I love to make jelly and jam. It is very therapeutic.

The Episcopal Church

2009-07-16T03:12:00.000-07:00

I love the symbol above which the Episcopal Church is using for its General Convention. The theme of the convention is Ubuntu. Ubuntu is a Bantu (South African) word which describes our life with each other in community. Life in community (ideally) helps us understand who we are in God's eyes - we are loved, forgiven and entrusted with ministry to each other. We enable this as we love each other, forgive each other and enable one another to do ministry.

This week at General Convention the House of Bishops and the House of Deputies passed resolution D025 http://gc2009.org/ViewLegislation/view_leg_detail.aspx?id=986&type=Final

It is an incredibly honest statement of where the Episcopal Church is right now regarding issues of ordination and homosexuality. I am so pleased to see this resolution pass. The Church is saying many things in this: We still want to be a part of the Anglican Communion worldwide with our financial support and through relationships and ministry; we want to continue to listen to homosexual persons and to value their experience; we acknowledge that homosexual persons have exercised ministry in the church and will continue to exercise ministry in the Episcopal Church through the process of discernment as detailed in the Canons and Constitution of the Episcopal Church; and that even after careful study utilizing scripture, tradition and reason, not all person will come to the same conclusion about homosexuality.

I am hoping - perhaps beyond reason - that having stated honestly our view about this matter of human sexuality we will now be able to move towards the biblical imperative of mission. I have long wondered what we are doing spending so much of our time, money and energy debating an issue that scripture mentions only a few times while ignoring what scripture says over and over about caring for and loving one another as we take care of those who are hungry, without shelter, sick and dying. Jesus spent large parts of his gospel talking about reconciliation and forgiveness and we have allowed ourselves to be divided, grumpy and unforgiving of each other over this issue. We ignore Jesus' words about the right use of our resources while the church (and the world) goes bankrupt. Greed has become acceptable and we have forgotten that everything we have comes from God.

I will quit preaching...

Summer Stuff

2009-07-13T04:16:00.000-07:00

Never - ending Blackberry Bush

At the edge of my yard is a large bush that has been taken over by blackberry vines. Every year it seems to produce more and more blackberries. Last year the flood waters from the Wabash came about 2-3 feet into the bush, but it produced great blackberries. This year we have had an abundance as well. My neighbors have picked and I have picked several gallons already. I'm juicing my berries to make jelly as I don't digest the seeds very well. I started picking again yesterday but a storm came up and drove us inside. My sweet Isabelle and Katie help entertain me as I pick! They have planted soybeans in the field behind the house and Katie loves to get in the field and nosh on the lovely grass growing there alongside the soybean plants. The bean plants are still quite small and new. The field had water in it until about a month ago but the Wabash is well down now.

Yesterday was the 6th Sunday after Pentecost and the gospel lesson was about John the Baptist getting beheaded by Herod. Once every three years in the lectionary cycle, John gets served up to us on a platter by Mark's gospel. The story fits right in with the political scandals of late. Can't you see John confronting the governor of South Carolina or John Edwards about their infidelities? The fact that John was martyred for his efforts says more about our lax morals than anything.

Mark puts this gruesome story between Jesus sending out the twelve disciples to teach, preach and heal and their successful return. I wonder what Mark is trying to say here? Is it that ministry continues to happen even when fierce opposition flourishes? Or perhaps it is a warning from Mark that we can expect opposition to the message of the gospel. When I travelled to Israel last year I carried a little notebook with me. At every stop, at every meeting with Israelis or Palestinians who are working for peace, I wanted to document the progress that had been made. As I read back over my notes I realize that what I saw, much more than progress, was faithfulness. In the face of dissension and even conflict I saw Israelis, Palestinians, students, farmers, landowners, and children who continue to be fired up and working for peace. It makes me wonder where the cutting edge of my own commitment to God's work is found? I am pretty comfortable in my seat at the banquet table and that comfort makes it hard for me to jump out there and confront a Herod or enter a situation where I know I will have to expose my deepest convictions.

The General Convention of the Episcopal Church is meeting in Anaheim, CA this week. Those who are delegates have over 300 pieces of legislation before them. It is a smorgasbord of issues and I do not envy them their job. I know, however, that good and faithful people who are called to do that work will enter into it prayerfully and cautiously. It is reported that our Presiding Bishop, Katherine Jefferts-Schori, was heard muttering the word "mission" over and over as she took her seat in the House of Bishops! I believe that the church is in a good place to move forward now into new endeavors of mission in the world. We have recognized the equal gifts of all who come to the banquet table and we are in a stronger place to do the work of the gospel.

And...I am ready to make blackberry jelly and let the juice from our sweet Posey County melons run down my chin... it is summer after all!

The Summer Busyness

2009-06-30T04:15:00.001-07:00

Summertime in the Mountains of North Carolina

I was in Sparta,NC a week ago to spend some time at the house there. Two good friends, Ruth and Mary Mac came up and helped me rearrange furniture and do some spring cleaning on the house. Other than a small invasion of little black ants it was a great time. I will have to say that I was impressed by their persistence. A little more of that tenacious spirit towards "hanging in there" might not be so bad for most of us. But for these little creatures it is all about being alive, finding the next meal and a safe place to be. It makes me think about how two-thirds of our world lives in much the same way. Their lives are centered around finding ways JUST to stay alive against forces of poverty and strife that conspire against them. As I cleaned out my old, leaky refrigerator yesterday, my grumbling changed to thanksgiving as I realized how many people in world don't have any refrigeration and certainly not as much food as I have in mine. There are just so many ways to feel grateful.

"The Girls"

This is a little collage I did in Sparta of my three girls, Isabelle, Pumpkin and Katie - reading the paper of course!. I wish I had done it larger, but had fun doing it. Our secretary at St. Stephen's, Glenda and her husband David are getting a "Goldendoodle" (mix between a Standard Poodle and a Golden Retriever) puppy next month and we are having "canine shower" for them this week. I continue to revel in the great joy that my animals give me. As I sit here writing Isabelle, who gets up with the sun is surfing the room. She knows the parameters of what is acceptable and not but she still visits all the forbidden places to sniff at the things she knows are off limits. She is very bright but she is a "kid." All the limits of life are things she MUST push! She has recently gotten very fond of Katie and will lie down next to her to be close. Katie is being quite patient. I wish I could say the same for the cat, Pumpkin. She and Issie do not click - yet!

I have been thinking a lot about worship lately. Last Sunday, we had a guest preacher and celebrant, the Rev. Nancy Roth. Nancy was in New Harmony to do a day long retreat for us on Spiritual Exercise. She uses yoga and other "body movement" work with prayer and meditation and it is very effective. Using our bodies and our hands as we pray does focus us and can take us to deep places of meditation. It was wonderful on Sunday morning to simply sit in the pew surrounded by the parish family and worship. I loved Nancy's quiet way with preaching and liturgy.

I am making some simple changes to our worship this summer to "lighten" it up a bit. Singing a simpler song of praise instead of the more formal "Glory to God" at the beginning and softening the Sanctus by using a more familiar tune. We are using a Eucharistic Prayer that focuses us on Our Stewardship of God's Creation. All of this to bring us "home" during this long, green, growing season. Living in the midst of fields of corn, soybeans and winter wheat is a constant reminder to me of the way that God provides for us through creation. Our stewardship of all creation in the way we use our time, our gifts and our money is important. Corporate worship is that very tiny part of our week when we come together with those we call family (whether we like all of them or not) to be re-formed for the work in the world. If we stay away from worship because we we don't want to associate with someone or don't agree with everyone, then we miss the opportunity to find a place in our hearts where we can forgive, accept; be forgiven or accepted. Worship gives us a way to remember why we are here and what is important in our lives. We call this work "liturgy" - the work of the people. It is work, not because doing it is hard but because there are so many things that pull us away from doing it. We need to read the paper, sleep, go get groceries, prepare for company; we've been up late the night before, everyone is busy... Ignoring this one- two hour commitment on Sunday deprives us of so much that we need to remember. We need to remember who God is and who we are to God. We can carry around so much stuff in life that we forget an important thing - God delights in us! So here is the chance to remember that God is a fortress, redeemer, lover, friend, parent; God is full of patience, kindness, goodness, forgiveness, love, joy, hope and most importantly, God is with us.

This morning I am going to meet with a young woman who is an intern at the Contemporary Art Gallery here in New Harmony. We are going to visit some of the art pieces in New Harmony. We have so many lovely sculptures and other art pieces here. My hope is that at some point a small brochure or booklet about those pieces might be gathered together so that people who come to New Harmony can have a guide for these pieces. I am going to take my camera, so I can put some pictures here...

A Long TIme between Posts

2009-06-17T12:53:00.001-07:00

Isabelle Honaker

It has been a long time since I wrote here and the picture above should tell you why. She is the newest member of our family - Isabelle. She is a lively, 18 month old golden retriever. I mentioned to my vet that I might be ready to adopt another golden. Coming back home after sabbatical was hard knowing that Sugar would not be there. It took some time for Katie (my oldest golden) and Pumpkin (my neurotic Tortoise shell cat) and me to adjust to Suggy's absence. But, I decided that if the right dog came along we were ready. She found Isabelle in the newspaper and I went up to Princeton, Indiana to look at her. She was too much for her owners, who had finally resorted to tying her outside on a rope. Can you see the toddler mischief in her eyes? She is a bundle of activity and so we try to keep her moving. She gets a long run in the Harmonist Cemetery each morning which both she and Katie love. And she is very bright - after only two weeks she figured out that she has to get on the seat in the golf cart so Katie (who can no longer jump up) can sit on the floor for us to go to the cemetery. Pumpkin and Isabelle are still working on their relationship! Anyway, she has taken a lot of my energy and time lately - I think she is going to be a great dog with some training and discipline. Iasked the vet about the little black diamond shaped black spot on her tongue and she said "it is just a freckle!"

Plant growing out of the brick in he Harmonist Cemetery wall

I found this little weed bravely growing out of the brick in the cemetery wall. Last week's gospel lesson was the parable of "the mustard seed." The mustard seed produced those pesky little wild mustard plants that we try so hard to get rid of in our yards. The thought that anyone would "sow" these tiny seeds was probably laughable to Jesus' audience. They were like dandelion fluff - they blew anywhere and everywhere that the wind took them. The common little weed above was probably seeded into the brick by the wind. As Jesus talked about the undesirable mustard seeds he must have had in mind the undesirable people he met everyday in his journeys. The prostitute, the leper, the tax collector, the poor and all who were different from the establishment. When Jesus says, "With what can we compare the kingdom of God?" he answers his own question by saying that it (the kingdom of God) is compared to the mustard seed which grows up into a large shrub with branches that shelter the birds in their nests. For a common weed like the one above or the wild mustard plant to grow up into a great tree was another one of those "inside jokes" for Jesus. These undesirables were always gotten rid of before they could grow or achieve greatness. But the kingdom of God is like a mustard seed - it is like an undesirable thing which is allowed to grow into greatness - the kingdom of God is found in the least, the lost the most undesirable when we allow those people to grow into the greatness that God has in mind for them.

Winter wheat almost ready to harvest

I love the spring time views of the fields around us in southwestern Indiana. The wheat is a golden brown against the fields of bright green corn. It will soon be time to harvest the wheat. The farmers had a hard time getting into their fields to plant corn this spring because of the rain. A lot of the land around New Harmony is bottom land and when the spring rain is excessive the "bottoms" flood and all the fields get water saturated. The corn, which is supposed "to be knee high by the forth of July" is having a hard time getting there this year. I asked one of the farmers in my congregation what the wheat that is grown around here is used for. It is basically wheat for flour or as he said, "flour to make Twinkies!" It is such a transformation to watch it go from green to gold.

The picture above is of balls of fabric strips which I tore from old sheets and fabric. I wound them into balls until I could make the rug pictured below. I liked the rug and gave it to a friend who was moving to Denver. It is a simple crochet pattern and made with a large hook. It is so uncomplicated and fun to make that I am now preparing fabric to make another one. It is great to look for old sheets and fabric at the Goodwill Stores in Evansville. I have found some great pieces there and while I was looking for fabric, I found a beautiful cotton shower curtain that is perfect for my bathroom. It is a light beige and has a raised pattern in white thread. As far as anything wrong with it - I found a couple of lightly faded places on it where strong sunlight had made it a bit lighter. I love it. Shopping at the Goodwill Store is so much fun and I love recycling with them.
The strips I used for this rug were about one and one-half inches wide. When I got ready to tear the sheets into strips, I would tear down to about an inch from the bottom and then measure one and one - half inches over and start another strip so I had a continuous piece. I cut the elastic binding off of fitted sheets and used them as well. When I joined two pieces I did it by cutting a small slit in one end and tying a knot in the other and fitting the knot through the slit like a button and buttonhole. It works great. I learned all of this from a variety of websites but have forgotten which ones. I Googled rag rug to find the directions. Have fun....

Out of the Mouths of Babes!

2009-06-03T12:15:00.001-07:00

Celtic Cross

This morning in our EfM (Education for Ministry) group one of our parishioners shared this poem written by her 11 year old grandson:

Hate

Hate is a poison,

Slipped into dinner, through snide remarks,

meager at first

but escalating over time.

It ruins people,

consumes others,

it is hard to contain it,

harder still to cure it.

It takes away lives,

Egging away the fragile existence,

Devastating the mind,

Turning it to hate's ultimate goal.

Hate destroys nations,

cripples the toughest men,

and yet all can control it

with the simplest tool: forgiveness.

Nathaniel Endicott

The Trinity and Reconciliation

2009-06-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

More "Good News"

The piece in the picture is a project of several days - still playing around with newspaper as a medium. I'm reasonably happy with this outcome, but wish it were clearer and less "messy." Collage is still a work in progress for me, but I am having fun and that's what counts.

This coming Sunday is Trinity Sunday. I love the image of this "family" of Holy Beings. I believe that each one of us has a different view of what these three look like. In William Young's book, "The Shack", he pictures the Father, Son and Holy Spirit in creative ways. Ignoring traditional "gender" qualifications (i.e. God is Father) he paints a picture of a lively and loving system of communication between the three persons of the Trinity. This picture of "holy relatedness" is the part of the book that I enjoyed the most. I was comforted by the ordinariness of their communication with each other.

The Trinity has been vastly described throughout the ages. Just reading the Creed of St. Anthanasius (The Book of Common Prayer, page 864) is enough to make you dizzy, "That we worship one God in Trinity, and Trinity in Unity, neither confounding the Persons, nor dividing the Substance. For there is one Person of the Father, another of the Son, and another of the Holy Ghost." One substance, but three persons is confusing but I believe that we make it more complex than necessary. I also believe that if these three "different persons" can live as "one substance" it is an example of how we can also live together.

We are different persons - some of us are nurturing, some are artistic, and some are intellectuals. Some of us are really grounded in the work of everyday stuff and some of us (although our feet are on earth) see angels and hear music that the rest of us can't. That we are not all meant to be alike or think alike is "color" in an otherwise black and white world. So why is humanity's "colorfulness" the source of so much strife? It seems that there is so much we could gain in recognizing the common "substance" we all bear - the image of the God who created us; while appreciating the different "persons" we also exhibit in all our differences. Whether we are dark skinned or light, Latino or Anglo, male or female, Jew or Gentile, Buddhist or Muslim, gay or straight; we are created in One image - we bear One substance. That One substance makes us equal. It gives us hope becasue it is that One substance in us that seeks understanding in the common experience that we all bear.

Rublev's Icon of The Trinity

"Knowing the Trinity is being involved in this circling
movement: drawn by the Son towards the
Father, drawn into the Father’s breathing
out of the Spirit so that the Sons’ life
may be again made real in the world. It is where
contemplation and action become inseparable."
-Rowan Williams, The Dwelling of the Light: Praying with Icons of Christ

2009-05-26T05:47:00.000-07:00

Mr. Big Stuff

I took this picture at Randall and Margaret Little's farm a couple of weeks ago. They have wonderful horses and lots of babies this spring. I love to visit there and smell the farm smells, watch Randall with the animals and look at Margaret's flowers. It's like a big petting zoo! The horses are particularly lovely to be around with their gentle velvet noses! This guy above is certainly picturesque! He turns to stone when you approach his fence. Even Margaret can't get him to budge. Well, I put his picture here this morning because this is how hungry I am!!! Even hay looks good!

I was reading the New Yorker magazine this morning and came across a poem by Philip Schultz called Bleecker Street. The poet is on his way down Bleecker Street to get a hazelnut espresso latte. It's June and the street is alive in a way that transcends time. He sees and describes the present day activities of stores, teenagers talking on cell phones, and a woman getting stopped by the police. All of this is in "real time." But he also sees the cellars of stores where runaway slaves were housed, the couple having their first kiss, victory parades with confetti; and so much more of the "inner life and hidden life" that cities have.

He is describing, I think, the way we are meant to experience the Eucharist on Sunday mornings. We see the priest standing behind the altar with silver Chalice and Paten gleaming in the morning light; and we also see the rough hewn wooden table covered with hand woven cloth. Around that table a group of disciples face the one person they love more than themselves. And he is offering them a cup of wine and a piece of bread. He calls it "his body and blood" and forever it will be that. It is meant to sustain them through the coming ordeals of life. Sustenance for life and death, real food for this present life and the life to come. I see the tears glinting in their eyes as they receive this bread and wine because they know that they will never be at this table together in the same way. Life is precariously drawn. And those drawn lines get blurred by jealousy, and frustration; by anger and self-pity. We turn away from each other as soon as we walk away from the table where we sat talking about the way we are "one." And so I loved these lines in Schultz's poem:

"Perhaps everyone secretly admires
something momentous about himself,
with the mass and “inner life” of a cathedral,
in the tradition of the Spanish saints and mystics
who cherished the bliss of infinite sacrifice

We tend to cherish too much our sacrifices. So cherished are they for us that we beat each other over the head with them. Look at what I have given up for you. Look at what I have given up for God. Ah, the life of our inner cathedrals! And how that life goes on and on while we in "real time" walk down the streets of our lives.

If you want to read Schultz's poem it is here http://www.newyorker.com/fiction/poetry/2009/05/18/090518po_poem_schultz

It is a great meditation.

Holidays

2009-05-25T16:32:00.001-07:00

New Friends!

The Wabash River continues to rise and flood the field behind my house. It is a very pastoral scene. The geese above are our most recent visitors. There are fish jumping and snakes prowling. So far everyone is doing well at keeping good boundaries! Today, between thunderstorms and rain, I worked cleaning up the yard. I pulled overgrown ivy, pruned the roses and cleaned the patio and outdoor furniture. I enjoyed making the yard look a bit tidier.

I think holidays are hard without family around. I love my parishioners - they are wonderful, fun people. They have expectations about who I am as their priest...always, even on holidays! I'm spending this Memorial Day at home, however, not because I'm avoiding my parishioners; I am having a colonoscopy tomorrow and they don't make hamburgers and chips in a clear liquid form!! I wish!!

This past Sunday was the Sunday after Ascension. "God has gone up with a shout..." These are the words of the Psalmist in Psalm 47 and they are a good description of Jesus' Ascension. We are between Jesus' Ascension and the descent of the Holy Spirit. It's an in between time of the year. Young people graduating from college are between school and jobs; those graduating from high school are "in between" waiting for the next thing to happen; and we are all waiting for summer to appear with its full blast of heat. Waiting is hard work. We have to slow down and figure things out as we wait. I wish slowing down came easier or more naturally. We do things so fast and expect instant results. The disciples must have wondered how it would all work without Jesus there with them. I wonder if they were close to giving up just as the Spirit filled them at Pentecost. I do still believe that waiting is important and that even when I get to the end of my rope I will be filled, but waiting is never easy. Being in between jobs or cars or houses or even in between projects is hard work. Even being in between sermons from one Sunday to the next has its tensions with plenty of "end of the rope" moments. Trusting God to "show up" is really at the heart of our faith....

The Fifth and Sixth Sundays of Easter

2009-05-09T15:57:00.001-07:00

Another Project

Last week I was going through my clothes to get some ready to go to Goodwill and I found an old pair of pajamas made of the lovely material above. After throwing them in the box a couple of times and taking them out - I decided to keep them. I took them apart and cut the fabric into 4 by 4 squares. It was fun to hand stitch the design on the square and I like the way it looks. I'm not sure what I will do with the squares when I finish but it will be fun to do them.

This is the Fifth Sunday of the Easter season. Last week Jesus proclaimed himself as the Good Shepherd and this week Jesus is the "true vine." This would be a common visual for the people of Palestine. In fact all through the Old Testament the people of Israel are referred to as the vine. Israel continues to produce wild grapes and now in this passage Jesus tells us that he is the true vine and we are the branches which will bear the fruit of good works. Being a branch is hard work. Staying connected to the vine is hard work and having all those other branches around me is not easy either.

May 15, 2009 - I'm not sure what happened to the post I started above. It's likely that I got involved in another project and forgot to finish it. The days slip by so quickly and I continue to find that there are not enough hours in each day. I worked on the piece below this morning and I think it is finished. I have been working on it for a couple of weeks. The photo does not do justice to the layers of newspaper, and oriental paper under the angel. I have loved this angel since I cut it off of a card someone sent me (never throw anything away!). I decided to give the angel a home. This is another of my "good news" series.

New Harmony had an arts festival two weekends ago and although it was rainy and cool it was well attended. The artists had their booths set up on a wonderful grassy space on Main Street. Live music was provided by a number of New Harmony's talented folks. On Sunday after church I took my Katie over to have one of our local artists (and member of St. Stephen's) do her portrait. Jill Baker is such a fine artist. Jill has been in New Harmony for about 3 years. This is the portrait of Katie that Jill did:

Katie Scarlett O'Hara Honaker

For those of you who don't know Katie, she is my 11 year old golden retriever. I adopted her when she was 1 year old and she came with the name Katie Scarlett O'Hara. Her brother's name was Casey Rhett Butler! Katie is a dear companion along the way of life and I am thrilled to have his portrait of her.

I am preaching about loving one another on this coming Sunday. The title of my sermon is "Loving One Another 101." I wanted to title it "Loving One Another for Dummies" but was afraid I would offend folks. In truth we are all "dummies" when it comes to loving each other. I find my own heart betrays me all the time in this task. I judge the motives of others when I have no right to do so. Last week's epistle (1 John 4:7-21) has for me one of the most evocative verses in scripture: "We love because he (God) first loved us." (vs 19) I don't love my brother or sister because they are lovable... I don't love my parishioners because they love me... I don't even love my family because they are my family... I love others because I have been loved by One who knows me through and through (and still loves me). If God can love me then I can love others. It seems like such a no-brainer, but I struggle so against this call to love...

New Harmony Iris

The Irises have been spectacular this year in New Harmony. My backyard is literally "abloom" with irises and roses. It must be the enormous amounts of rain that we have had. I only wish we could figure out how to have flowers in abundance without the abundant mosquitoes...

Easter IV - Good Shepherd and Other Sheep

2009-05-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

Honoring Bob Gregg

This week I drove down to Harrisburg, Illinois to be present when Southeastern Illinois College dedicated their newly renovated Technology building to one of St. Stephen's parishioners, Robert Gregg. Bob and his family (Rennie, his wife is in the wheelchair on the right side of the painting) were there to celebrate with him. It was a lovely and touching program. Bob's achievements at SIC go a long way in providing technical education for people of all ages. I sat next to the retired dean of the nursing program at SIC and she told me that there were only 2 technical programs at SIC when Bob came and when he retired they had 16+ technical programs.

Bob and Rennie came to St. Stephen's (they drive an hour to get there) in 2003. They had been members before when they lived just across the Wabash in Crossville, Ill. Their children were small then and they eventually moved to Harrisburg where they helped start an Episcopal Church - St. Stephen's! But as we all know in 2003 the Episcopal Church changed forever. We began to recognize the gifts for ministry that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters have. Gene Robinson, an openly gay man, was consecrated Bishop of New Hampshire. Bob and Rennie found themselves in an awkward place, living in the Episcopal Diocese of Springfield under the rigidly conservative leadership of Bishop Beckwith. They came home to us at New Harmony and brought with them a wonderful woman named Patty Sayers. Patty was diagnosed just a year later with cancer and we were given the privilege of taking care of her over the last year of her life. Bob and Rennie continue to enrich our lives and I am so grateful for their presence among us.

The gospel this week is from John 10 - Jesus says, "I am the Good Shepherd..." He talks about laying down his life for the sheep - he is the Shepherd who never leaves us, never runs away no matter how fierce the wolves are; nor does he walk away when we are behaving like sheep - getting into trouble and being stubborn. Jesus does not give up on us. He is good. I love the picture from "The Chronicles of Narnia" when Lucy and the others have just arrived at the Beaver's house after running from the White Witch. The Beavers begin to talk about Aslan, who is a lion; and is the Christ figure created by C.S. Lewis. The more they talk about him the more frightened the children become. Finally, Lucy tells Mr. Beaver that she would be very afraid to meet a lion. And Mr. Beaver affirms her fear telling her that of course she would be afraid - if she were not she would be silly! Then, says a confused Lucy, "Is he safe?" "Safe," says Mr. Beaver, "No, he's not safe but he's good, I tell you. He's good." It is not safe to encounter the Good Shepherd. We don't know where he will lead us, or the ways he will change our lives; but as Mr. Beaver says, "He's good." He does not give up on us or run away in times of trouble.

This week the mother of one of our parishioners died. She was 95 and such a lovely woman. She had the countenance of a person who is at peace with her life. No matter if she was staying in the Nursing Home recovering from an illness or at her daughter's home with her dedicated caregivers, she was at home in herself. She will go home to Kansas to be buried but on Wednesday morning we gathered at the funeral home for a service honoring her life. It was an incredible service. There were about 40 people there who shared so many lovely things about the woman we were remembering, but also about our own mothers. Losing a parent is like losing an anchor. The feeling of loss is always there. We survive and move on but there is a place of longing in us... sometimes it is a longing for what we wished we had done; and sometimes it is a longing for what we did not receive from that person. Either way we still have to move forward with the pieces of what we have. Making a picture we can live with from those pieces is often challenging and may take us the rest of our lives to accomplish.

It's still spring here although the weather is very funky... we may all grow mildewed after the next several many days of rain that are predicted! Something about leftover April showers...

Hanging out with Jesus

2009-04-27T03:38:00.000-07:00

If you look closely at the picture above, directly under Jesus' right arm, you will see the small face of my cat Pumpkin. She is technically an "indoor cat" but goes out in the backyard each morning for a little fresh air. I caught her hanging out with Jesus one morning last week. Perhaps I have underestimated Pumpkin's spiritual life. She is such a strange little creature. I didn't grow up with cats and have always avoided them as pets. When I lived in the church rectory here in New Harmony I was invaded with mice one fall. I did not like killing the nasty little creatures but I didn't want to live with them either. A parishioner found Pumpkin, who was a tiny kitten, in a piece of cardboard under a truck. He brought her to me and the mice fled. She grew up hissing at everything that moved and more specifically my two golden retrievers. I finally put a cat door in the utility room door so she could have her privacy and we all could have peace. After we moved into this house two years ago, she decided she loved Katie and Sugar. Somehow I don't find it strange that they did not feel equally "warm" towards her. Sugar just ignored her, but Katie tolerates her. Now that Suggy is gone, Pumpkin has Katie all to her self.

I'm starting a new series of collage cards called "Good News." When I was in Greenville, SC visiting my friend Jack Peyrouse recently I went to their Ten Thousand Villages store. (http://www.tenthousandvillages.com/) It is a fair trade store and they have beautiful things from all over the world. I bought a roll of paper, the light blue above, which has pieces of old newspaper imbedded in its fibers. So I am combining this paper with newspaper to do some collage crosses and trees like the one above and this one:

I'm just in the beginning stages with this and am having a lot of fun. But now it's time to go do the other work I love to do...

I can go anywhere...

2009-04-21T15:18:00.000-07:00

This morning I sat at my kitchen table which has the best view in New Harmony! I listened to the kitchen clock tick a metronome of prayer – Lord Jesus…Lord Jesus…Jesus Christ…God’s Son…Have mercy…Have mercy…On me… as I watched the wind run in ripples across the water. The Wabash River is shooting out a lake from its overflowing shores. An island of green rests between me and the wild running river. The sunlight, just a few hours old, plays with the newly opening plants and from the middle of my iris and rose bushes Jesus oversees the whole process. I love this incredible view of the world because it reminds me how small I am.

Last week I had the gracious gift of retreat with friends. Resting from Holy Week and Easter’s intensity I traveled to St. Mary’s Retreat Center in Sewanee, Tennessee. Mary Mac Shields and Ruth Gillis met me there and we explored the mountains visiting all our favorite haunts and alternating between rest and fun. If laughter is indeed the best medicine then we should be healed from head to toe. Ruth brought us both copies of Barbara Brown Taylor’s new book:

I have just finished the second chapter of this incredibly compelling book. Taylor is seeking to help us find an everyday spirituality that looks for God in “more” than the usual places. It is a compelling book, so well written and lovely to read. On one of our trips last week “off the mountain” Mary Mac and I noticed Ruth who had a book tucked in her pocketbook. We teased her a bit and she said, “If I have a book, I can go anywhere!” This is a quote for all of us who love to read!

Yesterday I finally got to the orthopedic doctor with my leg which has been causing me pain. I supposed it was something to do with the Achilles tendon. After x-rays and evaluation it was decided that it is a tendonitis which responds only to rest. So I am in a boot which allows the tendon to rest by avoiding stretching. Actually it feels quite good and is wonderful to have this kind of relief after limping along for a couple of months hoping it would get better on its own. I feel a little off balance with the boot but I know this too will pass.

Post Easter

2009-04-19T17:38:00.001-07:00

Just when I think that going through a three year lectionary cycle of Sunday lessons doesn't provide much creativity, I get surprised. Every third year on the second Sunday of Easter we hear the story of Thomas the twin who doubts Jesus' resurrection until he is able to see the resurrected Jesus for himself. The disciples are hiding in a room fearing for their lives. In their minds, I'm sure, is the fear that the Jewish authorities would be coming to get them. Being a friend of Jesus is risky business.

These disciples characterize for me the dilemma of many Christians today. Whether we grew up in a home that encouraged faith or not most of us have come into the church because we have known some spiritual experience, some spiritual longing that has motivated us to want to know more. Something has happened in our life that opened our heart to God. Hoping to find more of God in the church we risk walking into the doors of a church and becoming part of a community of other people seeking God. As in everything the more we risk the more vulnerable we become to hurt. Religion, organized religion, is often not a safe place. We get hurt in church, we experience loss, and we get frustrated with each other because we have human failings. Being a friend of Jesus is risky business. Sometimes we lock ourselves away like those first disciples because we are afraid. We are afraid that our risk will prove too expensive, too painful.

But the risen Christ came among the disciples in the homeliness and everydayness of ordinary tasks, shared walks in creation and meals. And he is still present to us in the everydayness. He still says: see my hands and feet. Don’t divert your eyes from my wounds out of politeness or disgust. Look at them. Being my friend means taking a risk. Remember the incarnation. I came among you first in human flesh; human flesh just like yours. Human flesh just like that of your neighbor - flesh that can be hungry and fed; flesh that can be hurt and even killed. Flesh that can embody God’s love.

It was realizing this presence of Jesus in the everyday activities of life that allowed the disciples to move foward and continue the work that Jesus called them to do. And it is this presence of Jesus in our lives that allows us to continue taking the risks of being Jesus' friend.

Happy Easter

2009-04-11T05:07:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I posted anything here but I haven't given up. Last weekend I had the wonderful opportunity to travel to Greenville, South Carolina to speak at a friend's church on Reconciliation. Jack and Jane Peyrouse and their children, Jane, Jay and Marcia have been friends since my days as the Associate Rector at Holy Trinity in Fayetteville, NC. Jane died two years ago - way too soon for those of us who loved her. Jack moves along busily, involved in so many things at his church and in the theater community in Greenville as well as the lives of his children and grandchildren. A wonderful treat while in Greenville was to see Jack co-starring in a production of "Love Letters." The play by A. R. Gurney chronicles the letters written by two people from second grade to late adulthood. It was wonderful to see Jack perform again. The play is interesting and thought provoking both for the story it tells and the story left untold. Gurney left openings for us to add our personal interpretation of the story and perhaps to weave our own stories into the love letters!

A glorious and blessed Easter awaits us tomorrow. I welcome the good news of the resurrection into the darkness of our current world. I ponder the causes of so much illness and death in this small community of New Harmony. I wonder if the depression in our economy, the losses which people have experienced, have pushed some beyond their capacity to hope. It is the dilemma of our age which causes us to place our hope in "things." When the "things of life" begin to fall out from under us there must be something greater to hold on to. What could be greater than the knowledge that God has come to us in his Son Jesus and that he takes away death's sting. This is good news - great news indeed.

Seven Stanzas of Easter

John Updike

Make no mistake:

if He rose at all

it was as His body;

if the cells’ dissolution did not reverse, the molecules

reknit, the amino acids rekindle,

the Church will fall.

It was not as the flowers,

each soft Spring recurrent;

it was not as His Spirit in the mouths and fuddled

eyes of the eleven apostles;

it was as His flesh: ours.

The same hinged thumbs and toes,

the same valved heart

that–pierced–died, withered, paused, and then

regathered out of enduring Might

new strength to enclose.

Let us not mock God with metaphor,

analogy, sidestepping, transcendence;

making of the event a parable, a sign painted in the

faded credulity of earlier ages:

let us walk through the door.

The stone is rolled back, not papier-mâché,

not a stone in a story,

but the vast rock of materiality that in the slow

grinding of time will eclipse for each of us

the wide light of day.

And if we will have an angel at the tomb,

make it a real angel,

weighty with Max Planck’s quanta, vivid with hair,

opaque in the dawn light, robed in real linen

spun on a definite loom.

Let us not seek to make it less monstrous,

for our own convenience, our own sense of beauty,

lest, awakened in one unthinkable hour, we are

embarrassed by the miracle,

and crushed by remonstrance

Have a blessed and joy-filled Easter!

The Strife is over, the battle won...

2009-03-24T05:11:00.000-07:00

Over the weekend our friend Kathleen died. She fought a magnificent battle and now she is at rest. It is always hard to loose someone but even harder when they are young. Kathy was 56 years old. She had done a lot in those 56 years. She had a wonderful singing voice and sang opera in a variety of venues. The "always theatrical" Kathleen was known for her interpretation of the roles she played. Over the past too many years her health had prevented her from singing but she played the piano and organ with a masterful hand. She was our organist here at St. Stephen's. While I was away on sabbatical and worshipping in other places I realized that Kathy routinely transposed all the hymns down to a singable level. She did this so our little congregation could sing, and sing they do! She will be missed by those of us whose voices have ceased the ability to reach some notes! But Kathy will be missed in so many other ways including her wry sense of humor. She finished the 4 year Education for Ministry program last year and her often humorous and ruthlessly honest perspective was important to the class. Rest in peace dear Kathy and go well into your new life of ministry with Jesus at your side.

Spring reminds us every year of the way God is continually renewing us and all creation. If there is any doubt about eternal life it should be silenced by spring. Every year we go from stark, crisply edged death to trees warmly fuzzy with budding new life. Stuff comes up green from cold earth and blooms in a riot of colors. It is an annual rebirth which reminds us that we too will be reborn after death. I am particularly thankful for this reminder this year. It has been a time of unrelenting distress for our parish family. Illnesses and death are too close and we are all struggling with our own vulnerable nature. I can't help but believe that as the sun draws near to us in our journey around it this year, we will be restored by its warmth. So, as Julian of Norwich would say, "All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well."

Hope and Spring

2009-03-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

Spring in Southwestern Indiana

I took this picture yesterday (Friday) while on my way home from Evansville. I think the colors are scrumptious! This is a true sign that spring is on the way and while it is Lent and we cannot properly use the word "Alleluia," there is an "alleluia sort" of feeling in the air!

Lent III

2009-03-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks have left me with little energy for posting here. I have done the necessary things in my life. I have been feeding Katie and Pumpkin, taking Katie out in the backyard and watching spring creep into our lives, turning the heat up and down with the successive cold fronts that sweep through, buying groceries, cleaning house, and writing sermons. Most of my energy, however, has gone into watching and praying for the loved members of my parish who are ill. This has been a hard winter for the folks of St. Stephen's. One after another have been ill or had serious health issues. Right now we are keeping watch with a parishioner who is in ICU. Hope comes and hope disappears into the worsening lab reports, yet we wait with the One who heals us all.

On the trips back and forth to the hospital in Evansville, I have been watching the fields where the winter wheat is coming in. Those patches of emerald green almost hurt my eyes in the midst of the surrounding "brown world." I love the colors of the fields of southwestern Indiana. There is always a patchwork quilt of color in those fields. My favorite time is when the winter wheat turns to gold and the corn is about knee high. The blending of those two colors in the softly rolling hills is stunning. I always loved my trips through the fields of eastern North Carolina, watching the cotton, tobacco and soybean fields at their various moments of life. Nature has a way of steadying me. It provides a landscape of hope and home that reassures me. So, I continue now in the midst of the things I don't understand to hope and trust in God who ordered the heavens and the earth, the seasons and the times for our good and our pleasure.

Of Ashes and Angels!

2009-02-25T06:20:00.000-08:00

Out of Bounds Angel

The picture above is one of a series of angels that I made using the pieces of an old icon calendar. The series is called "Out of Bounds Angels." This one has purple hair for Lent! I have been looking for signs of God's presence in the ordinary things of life. Thinking about Jesus' transfiguration on the mountain top last week I tried to put myself in the shoes of the other 9 disciples who were not there when Jesus met with Elijah and Moses. I can imagine all sorts of reactions to hearing the story of how Jesus was revealed to Peter, James and John. Everything from jealousy to anger to denial. But these 9 disciples had also seen "little epiphanies"; events that transfigured their despair and grounded their faith in Jesus. Of course multiplying the loaves and fishes, bringing the dead to life and walking on water seem like huge signs to us - way out of the realm of "ordinary" life in our 21st century. So what are those little epiphanies that enter our world to give us hope and solidify our faith? I think God reveals "Holy presence" to us in very personal ways. The God who created us knows the places in us that are open to "the Holy."

I was in seminary in Pittsburgh in 1985 when both of my parents were having some serious health problems. I decided to spend several weeks with them at their home in Blairsville, Georgia. I was "worried and fretful" about many things as I travelled through the hills of West Virginia and into North Carolina. As I drove across roads winding through the mountains I love the sun began to set. When I reached the top of a particular ridge I pulled off the road to view the most incredible sunset I have ever seen. I'm not sure I can even describe it, but it seemed as if someone had poured liquid gold into the already yellow and purple clouds. I stood and watched, truly transfixed and transfigured by the sight. I knew in the way one knows that this was a sign of God's presence. I laughed and cried at the same time and if there had been room on the side of that road I would have fallen on my knees. Instead I sat and watched until the golden light slipped down into the mountains. I went away comforted and encouraged, knowing that whatever happened at my parent's home and its impact for my future might be hard work but God would be with me in it.

That sort of "epiphany," or revelation of the Holy has happened since in other ways, some as dramatic and visual as the one I described above and others that were not. I suspect that it has something to do with my openness to God's presence, although it seems that God is pretty good at getting my attention! I hope that this holy time of Lent will be a chance for all of us to see, hear, feel, know God's presence. And most of all I hope we will come down from those mountains to tell others so that they will be encouraged as well.

Today we begin the journey of Lent with ashes on our foreheads to remind us of our humanity and mortality. The dark smudge of our fallen nature is there to remind us that we are set into a world for a period of time - this time. We have limits - not only to the span of our life but in our lives - we are not God. And God is not limited by time or space or "human smudges." This is a good reminder and a good thing...

Last Epiphany

2009-02-16T09:43:00.000-08:00

The mighty Wabash floods again!

It has been over a week since I wrote here last. Our Annual Meeting was yesterday and I got caught up in that preparation. The Annual Parish Meeting is usually in January, but was delayed because of my sabbatical. I believe that St. Stephen's is in a good place. They have been a parish 168 years now and through good times and bad times God has been faithful to the needs here. Sometimes I wake up in the night and feel the weight of responsibility I have to the people of St. Stephen's. It helps a bit to know that my responsibility is really about being faithful to God in serving here. The ups and downs of parish life leave me breathless at times - I have never been good at roller coasters! It is so hard to see the top of the next hill when you are in one of those dips.

This Sunday is the last Sunday of Epiphany/ Transfiguration. I am so much like Peter in this story from Mark 9:2-10. Jesus and the "boys" - Peter, James and John go up on the top of the mountain. Suddenly Elijah is there and Moses! Peter says, "Lord, it is good for us to be here; let us make three dwellings, one for Elijah, one for Moses and one for you!" The writer of the gospel notes that Peter did not know what to say because he was terrified. Oh yes, I get that! I think that the great majority of life is lived on the mountainside and my preference would be to build some dwelling places there! Don't get me wrong, I love the mountaintop experiences (with or without Moses and Elijah) and when they come I relish them. But that journey down from the top can be sudden and slippery. I admit it! I like the day to day safety of the midpoint.

This is a piece of collage that I did recently. I have been using pieces of old calendars which have icons on them. The paper of the calendars is such a good quality I just couldn't bear to throw it away! I feel that way about lots of paper that comes across my fingertips; thus, my "stash" of paper is large. My fellow book artist classmates at Campbell realized my love for paper and left me all sorts of bits and pieces on my table. I love to look at them and dream about how to use them. The pattern for this cross was inspired by a book of Celtic art that I have. It is a lovely design and fun to play with. I like the simplicity of it. Here is another one from "icon pieces."

I think it is stunning how these three very different pieces form such a lovely cross. The two pieces for the horizontal crossbar look like heads butting! It is so easy to forget when we are butting heads that God is in the middle of it. Last week I took communion to one of our lovely older members. We read Psalm 46 and the words: "Be still and know that I am God" jogged a place of need inside of me. There is a wonderful way to pray these words:

Be still and know that I am God

Be still and know that I am

Be still and know

Be Still

I have been running up and down these words over the past several many days and it is a great comfort. Like the cross it reminds me that God is in the middle of all the things I am doing and if I can "be still" instead of running headlong into everything I might just come to rest in God's presence.

Here is a fun picture of the cat that shares this home with Katie and me. In her words she would probably say that we share her home!

"Pumpkin"

Both Katie and Pumpkin have been "clingy" since I came back from sabbatical. I suspect that they like me miss Sugar's sweet presence in the house. I do miss her so much. Pumpkin has mellowed into a lap cat which is something new for me. She will actually let me knit while she is stretched out across my lap, but occasionally wakes up long enough to bat the yarn around. I never thought I would have a cat....

Of Saints and other things

2009-02-06T11:34:00.000-08:00

Millard Fuller died this past week and was buried at Koinonia Farm in Americus, Ga. Fuller was the founder of Habitat for Humanity. Habitat builds houses for people who have limited resources. They do this by allowing the prospective owners a chance to do "hands on" investment in their homes thereby reducing the cost. Utilizing volunteers as the builders, Habitat is able to build stable homes for people who never dreamed of owning a home.

Millard Fuller in Zaire (1974)

Fuller, a native of Alabama, graduated from Auburn University and with a friend founded a marketing company. He was so successful that by the time he was 29 he was a millionaire. Becoming a millionaire was exciting but costly. His wife Linda had asked him for a divorce and Fuller's health was not good. These crises caused Fuller to reevaluate his life. He and Linda both renewed their commitment to Christ and began to live in a radically different way. They sold everything, gave all their money to the poor and moved to Koinonia Farm in Americus, Ga. At Koinonia they met with Clarence Jordan and others and decided to start a ministry in housing. Their effort was to provide, at no profit, homes which were financed by no interest loans. In 1974 they moved with their 4 children to Zaire to test this concept in a housing development there. Habitat for Humanity was built from these early efforts. Over 300,000 homes have been built since its beginning.

We don't think in terms of "saints" much anymore. A saint is someone through whom we see God's hand at work. I am voting sainthood for Millard Fuller. He allowed God to take him out of the swift current of worldly values and placed him in the wild and wide stream of God's love. So St. Millard, thank you for giving us a vision of greater things.

Today I got an e-mail from my niece Bretta and she has started her own blog. She makes me very jealous as she shows off her wool yarns died with Kool Aid! Check her out at http://www.brettaogburn.blogspot.com/. I am so proud of her. She gives me such joy and inspiration.

Epiphany 5

2009-02-02T17:04:00.000-08:00

Isaiah 40:28-31

Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; his understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and strengthens the powerless. Even youths will faint and be weary, and the young will fall exhausted; but those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

God does not faint or grow weary. This is very good news! The greater good news in this passage is that God will give strength to those of us who do grow weary. Growing weary seems to be endemic these days. I grow weary as I hear about the growing unemployment rates. Each interview with a recently laid off person, and every news story about greed at the corporate level saddens our heart and saps our strength. It is hard to believe that we who wait upon the Lords will be renewed. We would have very little to hope except that history gives us reason to trust Isaiah's words. The people of Israel were at the bottom physically, economically and spiritually. The people of Israel were in exile in a foreign country. They were in trouble, they were down with little hope of being raised up. But God did raise them up and they were brought home. This is the pattern for God's people throughout history. God is always and forever reaching out to us.

St. Stephen's in the Snow

This is the snow and ice which came last Tuesday. Beautiful but lots of trouble! There are thousands of people still without power. New Harmony residents were not as affected by the power outages as much as the people in Evansville and surrounding places. The main roads are clear but the side roads are icy. Snowfall has a way of making everything look clean and new. It would be nice if all of the messiness of life could be cleaned up so easily and quickly.

This is the cake from yesterday's welcome home party at the Barn Abbey. It was a wonderful celebration of the sabbatical time. The food was great (as it always is at St. Stephen's) and we spent time catching up on the things that have happened in the 3 months of the sabbatical. I am so grateful to the parish for enabling this time of rest and renewal. They are a gifted parish whose abilities for ministry are outstanding.

Epiphany 4

2009-01-26T19:15:00.000-08:00

Responding to God's Authority

Mark 1:21-28
21They went to Capernaum; and when the sabbath came, he entered the synagogue and taught. 22They were astounded at his teaching, for he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes. 23Just then there was in their synagogue a man with an unclean spirit, 24and he cried out, “What have you to do with us, Jesus of Nazareth? Have you come to destroy us? I know who you are, the Holy One of God.” 25But Jesus rebuked him, saying, “Be silent, and come out of him!” 26And the unclean spirit, convulsing him and crying with a loud voice, came out of him. 27They were all amazed, and they kept on asking one another, “What is this? A new teaching—with authority! He commands even the unclean spirits, and they obey him.” 28At once his fame began to spread throughout the surrounding region of Galilee.

“Epiphany: It’s one of the most “religious” words there is. The bible gives us Paul’s epiphany, the startling vision on the road to Damascus; and then there are those special things that super-spiritual people always seem to experience – epiphanies, words of knowledge, sudden bursts of God- clarity. During Epiphany, we are treated to readings that help us figure out who Jesus is and why he came.”
Lauren F. Winner, the author of “Girl Meets God: On the Path to a Spiritual Life”

In this gospel passage for February 1 Mark writes about Jesus’ entrance into public ministry. He begins his ministry by teaching with authority. He then continues to astound everyone by taking authority over a troubling unclean spirit. Jesus is made manifest through his authority. Authority comes from the same word as author. It is a word that indicates something that gives life and creates. Jesus speaks with the kind of authority that is innate; it is an inside type of authority. There are all sorts of “authorities” in our lives. People who are elected, chosen, and /or given authority are part of our lives each day. Our thoughts, desires; our anger and even other people can be forces of authority that take over our lives.

Responding to God’s authority in my life is a daily challenge. I move in and out of that place where I allow God’s presence in my life to be the authority by which I live. I slip in and out of the places where something (someone) else “takes authority” or I do my own thing.
The things which pull me back into God’s authority are important. The community of faith and worship remind me who I am. I am God’s beloved child. God wants what is best for me. Worship reminds me of this. Today my brother and I worked in his shop. He made a beautiful fountain pen for me out of a piece of wood which I chose. As I watched him plane down the surface of the wood on the lathe, chips of wood gathered under the lathe

This pile of wood shavings reminded me that God is in the process of “shaving” from me the stuff which keeps me getting hung up “doing my own thing”. It is a constant process. I believe it is a loving process. Just as my brother loves to bring out the beauty in wood, I believe that God loves to bring out the best in me.

Tomorrow I leave to go home to New Harmony and my church community at St. Stephen’. I am anxious to see everyone. Going home is the last part of my sabbatical journey, but not the last posting on my blog. I enjoy writing here.

Folk School Fun

2009-01-23T16:56:00.000-08:00

Anita Mayer instructing in surface design

My last week at the Campbell Folk School has been very busy. My niece, Bretta Ogburn, and I took this course together. It has been so much fun learning together. I love watching Bretta's great talent and creativity at work as she continues to grow as a fine artist. Our instructor for the week was Anita Luvera Mayer. Anita designs (and wears) beautiful garments that she finishes and embellishes by hand. Her work has been included in national and international shows and one-woman retrospectives. She gives lectures and workshops on individualized clothing, women's issues and creativity. Anita has travelled widely and collected sources and resources for the fabrics, materials and stitches she uses in her creative work.

Vest created and embellished by Anita Luvera Mayer

What I learned from Anita in this week which left my fingers sore and needle punctured is this: "It is not about the end product; rather it is about the journey you take as you get there." Along the way in creating and executing a design there are decisions to make, mistakes made which can become a disaster or a "design element" and new discoveries that offer opportunities to grow and learn. We created several things this week from a book / sampler of embroidery stitches to a "passport case." We dyed silk, learned to work with beads and studied the process of surface design. Anita shared her life, her experience and her guiding hand.

Our passport cases lined up on the counter for viewing

I won't make you guess at which one of the above is mine! I will include the picture of it below. I wanted to create a design that reflected the journey I have been on in this sabbatical time. I think I succeeded in doing that and in the process it included "changes and chances" that challenged me in all kinds of new ways. Once again I had the privilege of listening to the stories of those around me as we all reflected on the "journeys" of our lives.

My passport case designed and made this week

Today at the closing celebration where each class exhibits their work, the dulcimer class played two selections. The first was "Greensleeves" and the second was called "An American Hymn." The second piece was written at the end of the Civil War and attributed to an anonymous composer. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes as I sat listening to the music at the end of an incredibly historic week. The inauguration of Barak Obama as the 44th President of the United States has great potential for our country. I wonder if we will allow that potential to develop? I wonder if we will allow a spirit of unity to pervade? I hope, pray and find myself holding my breath to see if we can truly pull ourselves in a new direction.

Ups and Downs

2009-01-18T04:26:00.000-08:00

"Jenin"

This is a picture of my completed doll! I chose to name her Jenin after the town on the West Bank where we went to pick olives and attend the olive festival. The doll class was an incredible experience for me. It brought together so many things for me. I could not help thinking about my mother who taught me to sew by helping me make doll clothes for my dolls. I would sit under her sewing machine (literally) and put scraps of fabric together. The women who sat around me in that class and our instructor, Leslie Molen, were so generous with their time and resources. It was a wonderful, comfortable environment for learning and creativity. Our assistant teacher, Dee Dee Triplett, is the resident doll artist at Campbell and she shared her thread, doll making "instruments", music, and vast knowledge with all of us. Everyone in the room shared what we had brought so that there was no want of things available for creating. It was a community of abundance shared.

Sewing Room in the Fiber Arts Building

We chatted with each other, commiserated over the difficult moments, and often fell into a comfortable quiet as we worked. I found myself praying with the stitches I made - prayers for friends and family, thanksgivings for the richness of life. In those comfortable silences I let an awareness of my human failings seep up to the surface of consciousness. This sabbatical time has made me so aware of how my own personal insecurities get in the way of knowing and accepting others. I could use a lot of words to try to express this but the simplest statement is that for a relatively unprejudiced person, I have prejudices! It comes in the form of judgements about other people. I am quick to judge and slow to change the judgement. It is hard to write about this part of me that I don't like. I also know that if I am going to write or speak about peace and reconciliation I have to face this part of me.

At breakfast one day last week I had a fascinating conversation with two other students. These women were part of other classes at Campbell. As I told them about my sabbatical, they asked questions about reconciliation. I talked about my latest theory - that reconciliation is an upside down process with forgiveness coming first. They were really open with me about their own struggle to find reconciliation in their lives. For both of them they had found that even before forgiveness they needed to "break the bond of hate / anger" that existed between them and the person who had hurt them. Doing that work was a process of "praying peace" for the other person. One of the women said it was a matter of "wishing them (the offender) well" each day. In a way it is "sending the person out of your life each day with peace and blessing." This breaks the bond, enables forgiveness (eventually) and allows reconciliation. I am spending more time with these thoughts.

More Family

Today my brother, Bill, is preaching at his church, House of Prayer, and I am going to hear him. Later today, my niece, Bretta (second from the right in front) and I will go to Campbell to take a course in Embroidery together. This all makes me happy.

Sugar Honaker (2000 - 2009)

My wonderful Golden Retriever, Sugar, died on Friday. She had been trying to live in spite of a huge lymphoma in her chest. Suggy was living with Monteen Elliott and I got to see her at Christmas when Monteen brought her to Sparta, NC. This picture was taken in Wilmington, NC a few days after Christmas when we visited Blair. Sugar was such a lovely girl. I got her when she was 4 and she had been surrendered to the human society in Evansville twice. She was pretty neurotic from her past of abuse but thanks to her vet at the time, Dr. Laurie Wright, we got her on some "drugs" that turned her into the Golden Retriever that she was supposed to be. She and Katie (my other Golden) were exact opposites. Katie is a raving extrovert and Suggy was my introvert. She loved her beddie and her treats. I like to think that she had a great 5 years with Katie and me, and she had her own friends. Of course my cat, Pumpkin, may miss her but since Sugar never really acknowledged her existence, who knows?! Monteen, Katie and I will miss her so much. Rest in peace with St. Francis and all the other loved animals of heaven my dear, sweet Sugar!

Express Yourself!!

2009-01-14T09:55:00.001-08:00

"Body Parts" for our doll

I am back at work at Campbell Folk School after spending last weekend with my family. I have connected with some of my high school classmates and this week I’m having dinner with a group of women who were my closest friends in school. It’s hard to believe that it has been nearly 45 years since we graduated!

I am doing a very fun class this week at Campbell. It is a class in making dolls. In particular we are learning to make a doll from fabric. Today we began putting the “body parts” together and sculpting the face. I am in the class with women who have been “building dolls” for years and I love working and learning with these women who are from a variety of backgrounds. Though made from the same pattern, our dolls will no doubt express the personality of each “creator.” (This is sound theology as well!)

Our teacher is Leslie Molin, who is from Denver, Colorado. You can see some of her beautiful work at www.rootie.com She makes artistic dolls for people who collect dolls as well as teaching all over the U.S. and abroad. I love watching her hands as she works on the dolls, demonstrating for us the next step in our creative process. She is untiringly upbeat and positive. When someone makes a slip, or takes a snip in the wrong place she says, “Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to fix that!”

The meals at Campbell are stimulating events. We eat family style at tables with 6-8 persons. It is an opportunity to sit with people from different parts of the country who are taking courses in blacksmithing, or wood turning, glass bead making, basketry, cooking, and so many other interesting artistic disciplines. Many of them are professional artists who come here to teach or hone skills or develop new skills. We all come in from our hike in the cold to the dining hall where warmth, chatter and good food prevail. The conversations range over any number of topics and there is much stimulation of the mind as well as food for the body. The food is wonderful. Great Applachian Mountain fare like "sawmill gravy and biscuits!" I've decided this week to skip lunch and have an apple so I can eat with less guilt at dinner!

Books are fun!

2009-01-10T11:10:00.001-08:00

Star Tunnel Book on Olives

I feel like I'm in college again. I have come "home" to Bill and Bobbie's house with all my dirty laundry from my week of classes at Campbell Folk School. The class on bookmaking was excellent. The Olive Book above needs some text to finish it out - I learned so much as I made it. Our teacher, Annie Cicale (http://www.cicaleletteringdesign.com/), was wonderful at helping each person in the class find what we needed. She allowed us to try new things and she helped us turn our mistakes into design elements. I like thinking about mistakes as "design elements." My theologically trained mind moves in the direction of God's own design for our lives and how our mistakes become elements of strength and opportunity for us.

Our class was very fun as you can see from the picture below. This is Emily Ellingsworth who is also from Asheville. Emily teaches art at Asheville-Buncombe Tech, and she is also working on her MFA.

Emily showing her "Timeline" book called "The Journey of a Heart"

I don't know when I have had so much fun with paint, paste made from flour, water and paper! We made paste paper to "upholster" the boards which become the covers for our books. It brought out the child in each of us. I think one of the most important things about the week and Annie's instruction is that each of us felt valued. Each person's work was important to the whole group and we learned from each other.

So I go back to school again on Sunday evening; this time to make a doll and learn about doll making. I anticipate another wonderful week of rich conversations over meals shared with a variety of "folk" and artisans. I am learning a lot about myself as I work. Reflecting on these learnings is a wonderful process for me.

I continue to pray for peace and reconciliation in the Middle East. One of my fellow students this past week asked me how reconciliation happens. I think I am beginning to see some of the elements of that process and seems somewhat upside down at this point. Richard Lischer at the end of his book, The End of Words, the necessary "stuff" of reconciliation. Reconciliation comes "...from a reservoir of forgiveness that, had we not received it and shared it among ourselves we could not speak of it. We now participate in something larger and better than our inherently violent disposition toward enemies." This is the upside down nature of reconciliation that forgiveness comes first - not at the end as we might expect. First, we acknowledge God's forgiveness in our own lives and the lives of those we separate ourselves from and then we begin to participate in the process of reconciliation. So, I think perhaps this is the first step in reconciliation. Then comes the hard work of listening with the compassionate heart of one who has been forgiven. It involves hearing the story of hurt and responding to that story in the best way we can at the moment. And lastly it involves moving forward with careful intentionality and prayer. I don't think any reconciliation is possible without prayer.

In her article in The Christian Century, (December 16, 2008) Lauren Winner, talks about praying the Nunc Dimittis:

Lord, you now have set your servant free

to go in peace as you have promised;

For these eyes of mine have seen the Savior,

whom you have prepared for all the world to see:

A light to enlighten the nations,

and the glory of your people Israel.

These words from Luke 2:29-32 are words which many of us say quite without thinking each night. But Winner points to the rich ground of prayer which is laid before us in the first two chapters of Luke. "God's faithful people respond to God by praying." This prayer is "the channel through which we participate in God's breaking into the world." This kind of prayer is not hard work, but rather it is a response to what God is already doing. This kind of prayer weaves a rich and strong fiber of God entering into our lives as we enter into God's life in prayer. This interaction, this garment of grace, is found over and over in scripture as God's people cry out for help, give thanks, and struggle with life. This is the essential response and action in our lives as we face new possibilities and struggle together for peace and reconciliation.

Israel

2009-01-06T04:38:00.000-08:00

Crosses in a Second Century Church in Palestine

I recently received an e-mail from a clergy person in the Diocese of Indianapolis conveying a statement concerning interfaith peace in the Middle East. I continue to grieve over the loss of all life in Gaza. This conflict is a constant weeping sore on the soul of our earthly community. Here are the words that accompanied the statement and the statement itself. I have signed this statement.

"The violence in Gaza and elsewhere continues. In our own communities, there is demonizing of each other and too many of our community leaders seem to communicate through news reports and opinion pages of the newspapers rather than engage in any meaningful dialogue in person.

We have continued to be involved in such dialogue and strongly encourage others to do the same.We realize, that often what is "not said" can be just as hurtful as what is actually said. Silence at key points in community life can contribute to misunderstanding, bigotry and more violence.

We are committed to speaking together for justice and peace when silence is hurtful.

We understand the statement that we have signed shows that the interfaith community: is still talking to each other; is praying for a long term solution to the problem in the Middle East; is asking for all to working locally for the collective good and for peace; and, denunciates violence on all sides, without finger-pointing at single side."

Interfaith Statement on the Middle East
The tragic loss of life and property in the Middle East, and the prolonged failure to negotiate a fair two-state solution for Israel and Palestine, are a matter of grave concern for all people of faith. A permanent solution to the escalating cycles of violence must be found in the Holy Land that affects all the people of the Middle East.We urge the Children of Abraham to stop killing each other. We cannot stand by and let our families of faith be torn apart.We pray for the end to killing.
We call for:

1) Prompt cessation of all hostilities by all sides -- Ending the use of force causing civilian casualties and destroying lives/communities.

2) The United States to bring the warring sides together and resolve their differences.

3) The Israelis and Arabs to reach agreement on final and secure borders, to live in peace with justice side by side recognizing each others right to exist with dignity and security.

The Signatories below invoke the spirit and guidance of God as we attempt to please God be calling for peace, justice and reconciliation.

How time flys by!

2009-01-06T04:27:00.001-08:00

The past few days have been busy. Being with my family is always a busy time. There are meals to eat, and jigsaw puzzles to put together and meals to eat, and things to catch up on. I am so very proud of each member of my family. I remember eight years ago when my then 5 year old great – nephew, Reese, asked me, “Who are you?” I was somewhat stymied by the question and finally answered, “I’m your grandfather’s sister.” Suddenly I felt quite old! I worked on this feeling for some time until I finally realized that I wasn’t old at all; I am one of the matriarchs of the family! It is quite a different feeling because matriarchs and patriarchs get to say “wise things” and even occasionally issue a proclamation. My brother (the tallest person pictured above) is better at this than me. He is such a gentle, loving man that you want to listen to him. My sister-in-law (in the striped shirt) is equally capable. I have known Bobbie since I was 15 years old and she is my most-wise sister. As I have already said, they are my family and in good times and in bad I love them.

I arrived at the John C. Campbell Folk School in Brasstown, NC on Sunday afternoon. Campbell School was established in 1925. John and Olive Campbell were interested in the culture of the Appalachian people. During the late 1800’s they travelled extensively in Southern Appalachia staying in people’s homes and learning about their wants and ways. They were sociologists who set out to write a factual account of the region. One of the desires of the people of Appalachia was for education. Because their lives were often hard and filled with work, they wanted education that brought them together for fun and collaboration. In the early 1900’s they encountered the Danish folk schools. They used the word “folk” to mean that the schools were for the folks. These schools utilized collaborative learning. People came together to learn and have fun. There was no grading system and people shared what they learned with each other.

The Campbell School continues to be a school that is about “the folks”. In an atmosphere of communal living on this 100 + acre campus, we are encouraged to bring our individual gifts together to learn new skills. This week I am taking a course in bookmaking. The instructor is a book artist from Asheville, NC. There are 4 other people in my class who bring a variety of experience and gifts to this new learning experience. It is Tuesday morning and we have already completed two books and have three others in progress. I love the class time and I am gathering as many skills and ideas as I can. One of the books we started yesterday is called a Star Book. When finished it will open into a star shape and its story will unfold in the star’s multi – faceted windows. Pictures will be better than words for this project!

One of the things I like about this class is that it is not just about the structure or sculpture of making a book; it is also about the content. We are encouraged to think about what will go into the book. I am planning at this point (very early in the process) to use the star book as a way to talk about (visualize) the olives I experienced in both Israel and Italy. Well, we will see how it turns out!

What to say?

2008-12-29T07:47:00.000-08:00

Erez Crossing into Gaza

I have been hesitating about writing for this blog over the past 48 hours. I think I might be more inclined to take little interest in Israel's bombing of Gaza if I had not so recently been in Israel and Palestine. If I had not had Israeli guns pointed at me as I crossed the Kalandia checkpoint and experienced the frustration of Palestinian brothers and sisters (many of whom are Christians) as they seek to live with Israeli occupation, I might be less inclined to weep at this new misery. I have been interested in our news reports compared to the news I am receiving from both Israeli and Palestinian organizations who are saddened and angered by this new assault on the people of Gaza. Here are the words of a young woman in Gaza about the attacks.

Dear all. Here's an update on whats happening here from where I am, second night of Israeli air (and sea) raids on Gaza. Israeli warships rocketed the Gazas only port only moments ago, 15 missiles exploded, destroying boats and parts of the ports. These are just initial reports over the radio. We don't know what the extent of the damage is. We do know that the fishing industry that thousands of families depend on either directly or indirectly didn't pose a threat on Israeli security The radio reporter started counting the explosions, I think he lost count after 6. At this moment we heard 3 more blasts. "I'm mostly scared of the whoosh", I told my sister, referring to the sound a missile makes before it hits. Those moments of wondering where its going to fall are agonizing. Once the whooshes and hits were over the radio reporter announced that the fish market (vacant of course) had been bombed. We just heard that 4 sisters from the family of "Ba'lousha" have been killed in an attack that targeted the mosque my their home in the northern Gaza Strip. Peace, Safa

There are more e-mails describing the chaos and misery of those who live in both the West Bank and Gaza right now. There are many issues to consider of course. Hamas' unwillingness to negotiate, the shelling of southern Israel by Hamas rockets, the starvation of the people of Gaza by Israeli blockages of relief shipments, and the ongoing siege of Gaza for months now, and the overall occupation and demands of Israel on the Palestinian people. It is a complicated situation. Perhaps I will be able to write more about my own experience in Israel and Palestine but right now I am aching for the people whose lives continue to be ripped apart - both Palestinians and Israelis. Praying for peace comes quickly now; with each breath, as I see the faces of those I met and spent time with. I encourage this prayer among us all.

All I Want For Christmas

2008-12-23T04:09:00.000-08:00

An Abundant Olive Harvest

Reading for pleasure is a great balance to some of the "heavier" books I have been making my way through. One of those pleasure books is The Lady in the Palazzo: An Umbrian Love Story" by Marlena de Blaisi. The story is about a couple who are looking for a home in Umbria - a place to restore and make their own. It's a delightful story about food, and relationships. The author begins the book by describing the festival of St. Anthony in an Umbrian village. It is celebrated in the town plaza with a huge bonfire, enormous quantities of food and an invitation to all of the surrounding villages to come and feast. There is even a raffle and the drawing for the winner of the prize is done with great ceremony.

"The Bishop, divested of his official purple in favor of corduroy pants and down-filled vest, is calling for attention. The drawing of the winning ticket for the evening's prize is near. A wheel-barrow -- a glossy black number, on loan for the evening from the ferramenta, the hardware store -- is lined with a tablecloth, faded yellow and nicely ironed. It is precariously stacked with salame and prosciutto and cheese, necklaces of dried figs and bay leaves threaded on kitchen string, pomegranates, persimmons still on their leafless branches. Nests of homemade pasta wrapped in kitchen towels are leaned up against the dried kind in paper boxes. Breads, cakes, jam tarts, biscotti shed sugar over all of it. And there are jugs and jugs of housemade wine. Each item is a donation from a villager, his "tariff" for the evening. Additionally, the villagers each buy a raffle ticket... I like that nothing in the wheelbarrow is separate from the other things, how the fruit lies on the unwrapped cheese, how the cakes totter as they will, the whole of it an artless study in abundance.

Another study in abundance is the winner. He is a small, round boy with great chestnut eyes and red blooms over his olive cheeks. He seems shy at first, puling at his mother's hand, wanting her company as he goes to claim his prize. Noting his hesitation, the bishop steers the barrow to the boy, and the crowd screams its approval. The boy's brown -mittened hands take over the cart and, after some small consulting with his mother, he pushes it about the piazza. Having decided to distribute his riches to the crowd, he asks people to choose what they'd like. Sometimes, the boy stops to tell someone how to cook a thing, how to slice it, what to serve with it...

Of his preening mother, I ask his age. He will soon be ten. She is flustered and teary, pulling at her sweater, running a hand through the curls of her thick black hair. No one, least of all she, will talk about the circle of grace just closed by her son here in a small town in Umbria by the light of Saint Anthony's fire. (The Lady in the Palazzo: An Umbrian Love Story, Marlena de Blaisi, pages 17 and 18)

The pictures of abundance described by de Blaisi in this section of her book are what I think of at this time of the year. We are the recipients of this "wheelbarrow of abundance." Our task is distribution. I hope this Christmas you will consider ways to share the abundance in your lives with others. Like everyone, I love to receive gifts; but I know that I do not "need" anything. My life is full of treasures beyond measure in my family, and friends. The incredible beauty of creation is like opening a new present each day. So this year what I want for Christmas is to carry my wheelbarrow of abundance around to give to others.

I have some suggestions if you are looking for ways to empty your wheelbarrow. I just received a part of a pig from a friend. It is a gift through Heifer International. The pig will be a "living savings account" for a struggling family somewhere in the world. You can access their gift catalog of animals at http://www.heifer.org/ or by clicking the link on the right side of this page.

Habitat for Humanity is another way to share the abundance in your wheelbarrow. Donations can be made to their program called "A gift from the heart." These donations will be used to build affordable houses for people all over the world, including the places where you currently live. It is a wonderful organization found at http://www.habitat.org/ or by clicking on the link on the right side of this page.

Lastly if you are into planting things you might want to plant an olive tree at Daher's vineyard near Bethelem in Israel. These olive trees will greatly increase the value and quality of the Nassar family land and offer a greater means of income for them. You can read about this project at http://www.fotanna.org/. Just click on the Projects: Land and People window to learn about the olive tree project and others. This link is found under Friends of the Tent of Nations at the right side of this page.

Whatever abundance is in your wheelbarrow this Christmas I urge you to share with any of these worthwhile projects or your local church's outreach or local food pantry. In these days of world wide financial crisis most of us in the western world can still consider ourselves blessed with abundant resources. Fill up your wheelbarrow and start sharing.

Meal Shared at a Palestinian Home in Israel

What Can I Give Him?

2008-12-21T13:19:00.000-08:00

"Mary"

Today we went to Christ Episcopal Church in Sparta, NC. There was a little bit of everything in the service - incense, a Nativity pageant, Eucharist and lots of music to go with it all. The children's pageant was tender and at times really funny. It was a combination of joy and drama, exactly as it should be. I just happened to have my camera with me and caught this picture of a very "reflective" little Mary. And this picture of the whole cast:

Christmas Pageant at Christ Episcopal Church

The children sang the last verse of "In the Bleak Mid-winter." The words come from a poem by Christina Rosetti:

What can I give Him,

poor as I am?

If I were a shepherd,

I would bring a lamb;

If I were a Wise Man,

I would do my part;

Yet what I can give Him:

give my heart.

Christmas is (in our culture) all about giving and getting and Rosetti's poem points to the best of this - we receive the priceless gift of God's love, shown to us in his Son Jesus; and in return what can we give but ourselves? These words sung sweetly by children with bright expectant faces filled me with new hope. That is the hope for opening more of my heart to Jesus. I think that there is within each of us a bright expectant child who is willing to offer the the best that we are and the best that we have to God. So many "adult" things often get in the way of the heartfelt gift of myself. So many "taught or caught" prejudices interfere with my more childlike desire to love God in every person. And I have accumulated so much stuff - both materially and emotionally that complicates loving God with all that I have and hold. I love feeling the hope of this day when I desire with all my heart to "do my part."

The Gift of Visiting

2008-12-17T14:06:00.000-08:00

Holy Trinity Episcopal Church

Fayetteville, North Carolina

My body is definitely still on Italy time! I keep waking up at 1 am thinking it is time to get up. Little by little the jet lag is beginning to clear. I am now in the Christmas mode and that's good. I will leave this part of North Carolina to go "home" to the mountains for Christmas. I have loved visiting here in Fayetteville and seeing the new sanctuary at Holy Trinity pictured above. The labyrinth in the floor of the church is wonderful and the windows give the feel of being outdoors.

I've spent time just "visiting" with wonderful friends here. Catching up on what is happening in the lives of the people who are part of God's family and mine in this place makes me feel old! But it also makes me extraordinarily grateful for God's grace. I came to Holy Trinity in 1992 with many doubts about myself and ministry. The people of this parish were a healing presence to me and they "loved" me back into ministry.

I've been reading selections from the book, I Have Called You Friends: Reflections on Reconciliation. It was written in honor of Frank Griswold, our previous Presiding Bishop in the Episcopal Church, and it is a collection of writings by notable people. In her reflection, called "Taste and See," Ellen F. Davis talks about gratitude. This is a portion of what she writes in a meditation about Psalm 34:

"An Arabic proverb sums up all human experience thus:

One day for you, one day against you.

A well-known religious teaching amplifies the proverb:

When time is for you, give thanks to God.

And when it is against you, have patience, endure.

That wisdom comes from seventh - century Arabia, but it might as well have come from ancient Israel, because it exactly captures the thought of our psalm. In the terms of the Arabic proverb, the psalmist is speaking on a good day, when things are for him. So he begins by giving thanks to God :

I will bless YHWH at all times

his praise shall ever be in my mouth. (Psalm 34:2)

I am spending time with these words because it is so easy to make the "days that are against us" all about us...or all about someone else! The truth is that if we live long enough some days will "be against us." Some days will simply not go well. What we choose to do with the days that are against us is important. Praising God may come at the end of a long reflection about life's hard days. One of the other reflections in this book is written by Desmond Tutu. He writes about Nelson Mandela. Mandela's 27 years in prison on Robben Island could have strangled him with bitterness. Instead he chose to fill his life with forgiveness. He invited his white South African jailer to be a VIP guest at his Presidential inauguration. His witness of forgiveness advanced the cause of reconciliation. Like St. Francis of Assisi he let his actions speak louder than any sermon or speech could ever speak. And so perhaps the essence of reconciliation is found in what we fill our lives with on even the days that are against us.

Trinity symbol on the chairs at Holy Trinity

Coming Home

2008-12-14T10:25:00.000-08:00

Map of the eastern part of North Carolina

So many images, sounds and even smells are crowding my mind and competing for space as I write this first "blog" from the USA. On this third Sunday of Advent the writer to the Church at Thessalonica exhorts us to "Be at peace with one another." In Rich Lischer's book, The End of Words, he quotes Miroslav Volf in his book, Exclusion and Embrace. "...Volf asks the critical question, which might be paraphrased as follows: What is the defining mark of human life - is it the undeniable fact of that special identity that makes me me and you you, and our group what it is and their group something other, or is it the equally undeniable fact of some wider bond of humanity that we hold in common? Must identity trump community?" (Lischer, page 141).

Blair and I arrived in Rome on Thursday to stay near the airport for our Friday departure. After getting settled in our room we walked over to the airport to familiarize ourselves with the terminal. It was such a feast for the eyes and ears. All that "human community" of various shades, languages, and dress gathered in one place. There were several Chinese families whose lovely Mongolian features were distinctive. They were small and sturdywith dark hair and eyes and rounded faces. Their children were so beautiful! We saw one young mom in what for her was likely a traditional position of squatting. She was cradling her young child and giving it milk from a bottle. I so envied her limber knees! Languages came at our ears from all corners of the earth. I looked around and thought, "This is my family." This is what Volf means when he says that there is a wider bond of humanity.

We travelled for close to 21 hours by the time we arrived in Wilmington, NC. We missed a connecting flight in NYC because the plane left an hour later from Rome and then suddenly we were loaded into Blair's car with her dear partner Inza driving us through the eastern North Carolina fields. I felt totally jerked back into a different existence! Sights, sounds, and smells that have not been a part of my world for 5 weeks and even years. The sights of clean, modern buildings, SUVs on the road, Christmas decorations on every post and corner; the sounds of Christmas music, English language being spoken everywhere; and the smell of the cash crop of East Carolina - hog lagoons -- all this and more coming at me very, and sometimes, too fast. I am sure some of it is jet lag but tears seem to come to my eyes quickly as I realize, with a grateful and somewhat embarrased heart, the abundance that I live with.

And so as the journey continues I hope I can put more of the pieces together, but first comes washing clothes and visiting friends from this part of the world.

Reconciliation

2008-12-11T02:47:00.000-08:00

I am reading Richard Lischer's book pictured above. The subtitle is "The Language of Reconciliation in a Culture of Violence." Rich Lischer is one of those people who you want to listen to. He teaches homiletics (preaching) at Duke Divinity School in Durham, NC and he has written several books. My favorite book by Lischer is "The Preacher King: Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Word That Moved America."

In "End of Words" Lischer writes, "...Contemporary preachers cannot help but notice a growing dissonance between message and sensorium, between gospel and the all encompassing sea of words, images, and ideologies within which we attempt to communicate it [the gospel]." I am connecting these words of Lischer's with my own pondering about how ministry or creativity can happen in the midst of the barrage of media, and "busy life distractions" which fill our days. Perhaps our Italian friends have the right idea - close everything in the early afternoon and rest, listen to our interior life, visit oneanother, or create something before going back to work.

How can we hear Jesus saying "Blessed are the peacemakers" in a sea of violent images which come our way day after day? Can we hear St. Catherine of Siena saying to Pope Gregory XI, "Act like a man, go against your advisors and do what is the right thing?" Really hearing these words in the midst of an overwhelming culture of greed might encourage me to stand up to what is wrong. Rocking the boat is scary. Is there any way left in our self - focused culture for going against popular opinion? Can we hear St. Francis saying, "Where there is hatred, sow love?" The fields of my own heart produce more and more reasons why I shouldn't love. Sowing love is dangerous because it might yield change in me. I might have to be forgiven by someone I don't want to like. Or I might have to forgive someone and then find that I do like them! This is scary stuff and I believe it is the work of reconciliation.

This is a picture taken from Mt. Subasio above Assisi. These are the snow covered mountains north of us (thankfully).

And, as I sort of tidy things up to get ready to fly back to the US tomorrow, here is a poem I wrote about our rainy day in Siena. It was evening as we made our way back to the car and hard to find our way.

Siena

Bowed heads;
stone steps slick with rain;
missed turns.
Out of the stormy evening
she appears with hand extended.
Long skirt
sweeping our way;
covered head
lifted to the right.

Lost is broken;
the missed street found -
straight ahead.
Turning

each time with “grazie” on our lips;
realizing
in each hand offered that St. Catherine
is alive
in her people.

Blair Both, Guest Blogger

2008-12-10T04:49:00.000-08:00

Sculpture of St. Francis from St. Damiano

I invited Blair to "blog" and she has graciously offered her reflections about this Italian journey. Blair and I have been friends for 25 years. She is an ordained Episcopal priest living in Wilmington, NC with her partner Inza Walston.
10 December 2008, Assisi

Wonder and gratitude encompass me.

+ For the “long obedience in the same direction” which I have come to see in the life and work of Michelangelo. The energy escaping from marble and the figures in the Sistine Chapel.
+ For the unspoken words of St. Francis which are heard inside and out as one walks in Assisi.
+ For the devotion and courage of St. Catherine as I imagine her preaching to popes and cardinals in Siena and beyond.

I wish I knew the Italian word for “thin places” as the Celtic Christians called holy ground. Tuscany and Umbria have their share.

Wonder and gratitude are magnified by being the invited traveling companion of my dear friend Martha for the Italian part of her sabbatical. To have an Advent filled with Annunciations and Nativity scenes of Giotto, Fra Angelico and many others has been a nice change from the Christmas decorations since Halloween.

Traipsing up and down endless stone stairs, making the baptismal sign countless times on my forehead in yet another chapel or basilica, being welcomed back to our Montalto castle-home each night by Leo, the gentle German shepherd. Wonderful, rich images and such lovely people.

So many images pointing to God, Source of Wonder and Gratitude
who grants to us God’s children wonder and gratitude.
Dear Loving Creator, please keep opening up my eyes and heart.

Blair Both

Sculpture of St. Francis at St. Damiano

Assisi...and Florence again!

2008-12-07T11:15:00.000-08:00

St. James Episcopal Church in Florence, Italy

This weekend in Italy is a three – day holiday. It is the Feast of the Immaculate Conception (of Mary). So the banks are closed tomorrow. Today we went took the train to Florence to go to St. James, the American Episcopal Church. It, like St. Paul’s Within the Walls in Rome, is a beautiful church and both are what I think of as “cathedral sized churches.” It was a lovely and lively service.

From the looks of Florence today the holiday was being utilized for Christmas shopping! The stores were brightly lighted with Christmas decorations and people were rushing by with their purchases. Blair and I went to the Galleria dell'Accademia . Just like our experience with the Uffizi, we were able to walk in and get tickets without waiting. While the museum had a goodly number of visitors we were able to feast on the art without crowds. One of our main goals in going was to see David, Michelangelo’s astounding sculpture. Seeing it for the first time at a distance was breathtaking! The closer we came to the sculpture the more awe inspiring it became. It is much larger than thought it would be. The details that Michelangelo was able to carve from stone were phenomenal. David’s hands, and especially his right one along his side, were so beautifully worked. His hand curved around the stone was so detailed it seemed to move. The limited tools of these artists, gives evidence to the limitless energy invested in bringing images to life in all forms of art.

The Church of San Francesco in Assisi, Italy

Yesterday we took a short trip to Assisi. We will go back this week for a couple of days to explore the life of St. Francis. We did visit the Church of San Francesco. In fact we took several hours to go with an audio guide through the many frescoes in the church. Many of these frescoes depicted Francis’ life and ministry. Francis, like Catherine of Siena, listened to God with ears that were finely tuned to hear holy things. Like the artist’s work that we have seen here, the devotion of the great saints of God seems to come at a great price to the ordinary things of life. Their attention to creating and/or ministry rendered so many other things in their lives as secondary. Being immersed in this world leaves me wondering what things are so important in my life that I will set aside the “stuff” of life that gets in the way so I can be more focused in listening to God and being creative. Both Catherine and Francis heard and responded to God’s call in radical ways. It was, one could say, a time when the world needed great saints to overcome enormous struggles in society and in the church. And I wonder about our time. Who are the people who are willing to “tune out” the noise of the world in order to hear God’s voice in new and unpredictable ways? Who will create the great images of art that will render the next generation speechless in their presence?

Florence

2008-12-05T05:24:00.000-08:00

Pieta

Yesterday we were out early to ride the train to Florence. We went immediately to the Uffizi Museum. With unheard of speed we bought our tickets and entered into the world of art. We had done some work the night before researching this huge gallery so that our energy would be spent on the pieces we particularly wanted to see. Isn't it interesting that the piece that particularly caught my attention was not a major piece of art on that list!? The particular painting (pictured above) is by a little known artist Lorenzo di Alesandro la Sanseverino. It is entitled "Pieta" and was painted c. 1491. What caught my attention in this painting are the faces. The grief of John, the beloved disciple (on the right), Mary and Mary Magdalene (on the left) is so evident. Their hands on Jesus' body are tender and loving. I was very moved by this painting.

Pieta by Michelangelo

After the Uffizi, which was like eating triple fudge cake with chocolate ice cream, we rested our eyes and brain before trying to "digest" any other pieces of art. We enjoyed the beautiful buildings of Florence and the store fronts decorated for Christmas. Christmas decorations here are really low key but they are beautifully done. Being here in cooler weather and experiencing the holiday festivities is nice. There are not as many tourists and walking is easier without the crowds. After lunch we went to Museo of the Duomo (Cathedral of Santa Maria dei Fiori). Here we found the above sculpture of Michelangelo. It was done by him when he was 80 years old and meant to be the piece for his burial crypt. The Pieta is of Nicodemus holding Jesus with Mary while Mary Magdalene looks on. Nicodemus is a self portrait of Michelangelo and Mary and Jesus' faces are incomplete because Michelangelo lost interest in the sculpture before finishing it. I sat for some time looking at this sculpture. As I looked at Nicodemus' face I kept wondering, "What is it that Nicodemus wants me to do?" Michelangeo's talent was to free the images he saw from the stone. Nicodemus seems to be asking me to free Jesus from some of the ways that we cast him in stone and keep him from being alive in our hearts. I'm not sure I came away with the answers to these questions but these two pieces of art, both Pietas, have stayed with me.

Today is a very cold and rainy day. The rain has come in driving sheets. We are staying at the castle today to rest, clean, cook and read. It is a great day for all of those activities.

Siena and St. Catherine

2008-12-03T01:27:00.000-08:00

St. Catherine of Siena 1347 -1380

at her home and sanctuary

Yesterday we had an early start to Siena. The sky was partly cloudy when we started but by the time we arrived in Siena a steady cold rain was falling. Undeterred by the rain we found our parking spot and up we went into Siena. Our first stop was The Church of San Dominico. This church was Catherine's family church. San Dominico was begun in 1225 and completed in 1226. Later additions included vaulted ceilings, a tower and the crypts below the church. The crypts were first built in order to accomodate the massive columns which support the weight of the building. Later these crypts were burial places for the people of the parish. Catherine's entire family (she had 22 brothers and sisters!) are buried here. San Dominico sits on one "edge" of this walled hill town. It looks out over the valley below with majesty. Catherine is prominently displayed throughout San Dominico. While her body is enshrined in Rome, one of her fingers and her head are displayed here. There are many chapels in this church - my favorite is the Madonna chapel and I loved sitting there to pray yesterday.

From this massive church we walked a short distance down the hill to Catherine's home. Her home is a Dominican Convent and it incorporates a museum of her life including a wonderful sanctuary which is quite feminine and ornate compared to the huge, stark nature of San Dominico. In the sanctuary is the huge icon cross of Jesus. It is in front of this cross that Catherine received the stigmata (the wounds of Christ) on her hands, feet and side. There are so many wonderful pictures of Catherine. In one of the pictures she is standing before a group of people clothed in her Dominican habit with her right hand raised in blessing. It is said by her biographer that the Dominican priests and monks often deferred to Catherine's spiritual guidance.

So I found myself praying with St. Catherine yesterday that a spirit of unity might prevail in the Church. Catherine was a great reconciler. In her 33 years of life she accomplished much. Of all her accomplishments perhaps the most notable was her ability to reconcile the Papacy to its home in Rome. What many historians call the "second schism or Western schism" in the church (the first being the division betwee the eastern and the western church in 1066) involved a dispute between the Pope and the Roman Emperor about who would be the leader of Christendom in secular matters. In 1305 the Roman Curia (the Pope and his Cardinals) moved from Rome to Avignon France. The next 6 popes were French and their appointed legates were also French. The issues involved in this schism are complicated but at its center is the question of who will have power over the Italian cities and people. In 1374 Pope Gregory XI issued an embargo against grain exports during a food scarcity. The government in Florence organized a league of cities in Italy against the Papacy. In turn severe policies were instituted against these cities by the Papal legate. Florence came into open conflict with the Pope and in 1375 he issued an interdict against Florence to excommunicate the entire city. As a retort Florence stopped paying Papal taxes. These actions severely inhibited trade and solutions were sought. Catherine writes her first letter to Gregory XI imploring him to come back to Rome and end the conflict with Florence. The magistrates in Florence send Catherine to Avignon in 1376 as their ambassador. She reaches Avignon in June and meets with Gregory in August. On September 13 both she and Gregory start their journey back to Italy. She goes to Pisa and Gregory XI restores the Papal residency in Rome. The conflict between the Papacy and the Roman government did not end until the Council of Constance in 1417. Catherine was instrumental on many occasions in seeking an end to this conflict.

The incredible gift of Catherine's ability to reconcile people to God and oneanother came from her love of God. Her greatest love was Jesus. She had no need of any other and yet her life was full with the richness of people and events. When faced with the chaos, whether it was the plague or Church schism, Catherine turned to the sanctuary she trusted most - the place in her heart where Jesus resided. Her great abilities to heal sickness and division came from that place. Here is a poem attributed to Catherine:

The Sanctuary

It could be said that God's foot is so vast,

that this entire earth is but a

field on His

toe.

And all the forests in the world

came from the same root of

just a single hair

of His.

What then is not a sanctuary?

Where can I not kneel

and pray at a shrine

made holy by His

presence?

Outside St. Catherine's Sanctuary looking back towards the tower of The Church of San Dominico

Montalto Home

2008-12-01T06:18:00.000-08:00

Montalto Castle in the distance

Friday we arrived at our next home in Italy. We left Rome after picking up our rental car around 11 am and we drove north in what can only be described as “pouring down rain.” As we rounded the curve around 3:30pm the castle of Montalto rose up out of the misty Tuscan mountains taking our breath away.

Montalto is technically Castello di Montalto della Berardenga. It dates back a thousand years. The earliest document found regarding the castle is dated in the year 1004. It has passed through a series of families (including the Berardenga family), destroyed at least once in 1208, and is still a working farm, producing olives for olive oil and many crops. The owner now is a cousin by marriage of the last family to own the castle. Giovanni and his American born wife Diana are gracious hosts. Diana met us in the courtyard of the castle and after looking around a bit, we settled into our apartment. It is lovely with a small fireplace for coziness.

The Annunciation by Fra Angelico - c. 1432
Yesterday (Saturday) we went to Cortona to see Fra Angelico’s painting of the Annunciation. The painting is at the much understated Museo Diocesano. Everything in Cortona is either up a hill or down a hill. After a lovely lunch we “strolled” over to the Museo Diocesano and stood before the incredible painting of a bigger than life angel announcing to Mary that she would be the mother of Jesus. It’s hard to know the intentions of the artist as the painting began. Did he begin with the small figures of Adam and Eve in the upper left hand corner of the painting? He pictures them being ushered out of the Garden of Eden by an angel. Did he begin the painting with the angel who is more central, elaborate in detail and glowing with gold leaf? Or did he begin with the small, almost imperceptible face of God in the column? Whatever began Fra Angelico’s journey to the Annunciation, he pictures this event as a part of God’s reconciling love. The angel is on the same plane with Mary in the painting and the angel’s hands draw the drama. One hand points to God and the other to Mary as if a holy transfer is taking place. Over her head the dove representing the Holy Spirit oversees this encounter. “God is in Jesus reconciling the world to himself.” That’s the way Paul talks about Jesus in one of his letters. In another he refers to Jesus as the “new Adam.” This Adam will not be exiled and in fact he will bring us into the Father’s kingdom with him. This is a powerful painting.

The Abbey Church of Saint Antimo

Today we went to the Abbey of Sant’ Antimo near Montalcino, a drive of about an hour and a half. We encountered almost every kind of weather on the way over – rain, hail, thunder and lightning and even sunshine! The roads were “S” shaped, and in a few places “Z” shaped. But oh my, the incredible views of the Tuscan country where vineyards and olive trees rule! There were also fields of winter wheat just beginning to green a bit. How the farmers keep from falling off of (or out of) their farm equipment on the steep slopes amazes me.

The Abbey is spectacular and the service was sung in Gregorian Chant. We were able to participate chiefly because the liturgy is the same as ours. While we were relatively unfamiliar with the languages (both Latin and Italian) the weight of the worship for me was in knowing that I was worshipping with brothers and sisters in a place where for 1300 years Christians had gathered to worship. During the service the sun broke through streaming in the windows making pools of light on the stone floor. As the weather cleared the vineyards and fields – fall colored – were visible through the windows behind the altar. Incense mingled with our own breath steaming from our mouths into the cold church. It was an incredible worship experience for me.

As we entered the church tense from our wild weathered ride, I glanced over to the stone font with holy water in it. There on the edge of this stone bowl sat a large grey and white cat drinking holy water! When I dipped my fingers into the water the cat gave me a look that can only be described as territorial. I did not let my fingers linger in the water. Afterwards as I took a few pictures I realized that the pedestal on which the bowl rested was a cat like figure.

The Cat's Perch at the Abbey!

The Olive Trees of Tuscany

Thanksgiving Day

2008-11-27T03:46:00.000-08:00

The Church of Santa Maria in Trastevere

The Sisco Bridge over the Tiber River

Thanksgiving Day
November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Blair and I are planning a festive Italian dinner at a nearby restaurant for this evening, which is our last day in Rome. Tomorrow we travel north to the land of Sts. Francis of Assisi and Catherine of Siena. We will stay at a family castle, Montalto, which has been renovated into apartment units. Driving in Italy will be an adventure sure to test the strength of one’s faith!

Yesterday was such a wonderful day. The weather was beautiful and we walked over the Tiber to Trastevere. The internet store there is familiar to us and Johnnie, one of the proprietors, has become a great friend and helper. After completing our internet business we walked to Piazza Santa Maria in Trastevere. This Piazza is like downtown New Harmony. It has everything and you get the feeling that relationships are close among the residents surrounding the square. We had lunch at a small café on the square in the warm afternoon sun and then we visited, what must be the crown jewel of this neighborhood – the Church of Santa Maria in Trastevere. It is one of Rome’s oldest churches and built on the site where early Christians worshipped illegally. It is the first church dedicated to the Virgin Mary and it was dedicated in the fourth century when Christianity was legalized. Most of the incredibly beautiful inside dates from the 12^th century. It is such a fitting tribute to Mary – with intricate paintings on the ceiling intertwined with gold and copper. There are several stunning mosaics. One on the back wall over the altar is of Jesus on his throne in heaven and Mary on his right. He has his arm around his mother as if introducing her to us. A series of mosaics shows the birth of Mary and in one of them a servant puts her hand into a basin of water as if to test the temperature before bathing the infant Mary. Every adornment in this church from the rich mosaic floor to the warm paintings on the walls and the light playing on the gold and copper speaks of “family love.” This is the atmosphere that I imagine stirred Christians of earlier generations to draw close to each other as a Christian family.

Later we went to see the Catacombs of Priscilla. A convent of Benedictine Sisters has their house over these early burial sites. A Pricilla is named together with an Acilius, in a burial inscription preserved in this cemetery dating from the 1^st century. I have long heard about these catacombs, which are out of the way in Rome and not as popular as the ones along the Appian Way. The guide for our late afternoon venture into the catacombs was a young woman who took us deep into the underground caves. The catacombs, once thought to be the hiding places of early Christians, are in fact only their burial places. They may well have held the burial services for their families inside the catacombs but they are primarily burial sites. There are many beautiful frescoes on the arches and walls of the catacombs. One of the frescoes is of Mary and the baby Jesus and it dates at 230 CE. It is thought to be the earliest depiction of Mary and Jesus. There are many other early frescoes but my favorite and the one I have heard about from many scholars is of a woman depicted in the orans position (arms outstretched). Her arms outstretched in prayer (like a priest at the Eucharist), she may well represent an early depiction of a woman in leadership in the church. As I stood gazing at this picture of a woman praying there was a deep confirmation of vocation. The guide reminded us that there was a pagan religion in Rome, Mithras, which did not allow women to become members. The Christians who rivaled the Mithrianites, allowed women and encouraged their participation.

After this stirring visit we went to an art exhibit at the Museo de Corso. They had an exhibit of Vermeer and Rembrandt paintings that crowned the day with glory. “The girl with the pearl earring”, one of Vermeer’s most well known paintings was a part of this exhibit and worth the evening visit. This was truly a spectacular day in Rome.

The Vatican

2008-11-26T02:11:00.001-08:00

St. Peter's Basilica from the Vatican Museum

Roma – The Sistine Chapel

I was totally unprepared for the sights that came before my eyes today. We went to Vatican City today. In the Vatican Museum the icons and paintings were so richly thick that I felt somewhat “overfull” before I got to the Sistine Chapel. It is interesting to me that some of my favorite paintings before getting to the Sistine were the ones by Marc Chagall. His paintings reminded me of the Santos painters of the Southwest USA. They were simple, almost childlike in nature with almost distorted figures in rich colors. I was amazed at my instant love of Chagall’s Pieta which was evocative – darkly sad.

Oh, but the Sistine! Blair and I sat on a stone bench and we read from the guide book about the various scenes which Michelangelo laboriously painted on this once pale blue ceiling. The crown of the Sistine, of course is God creating humankind. God’s finger pointing at the human figure in the center panel evoked this reflection from me later in the day:

I wonder about all the people we bump into on the streets of Rome. Have they been to Vatican City…do they care that this place of holy highness is just across town? In the midst of their busyness do they care that the “holy man” who makes or breaks eternal matters lingers nearby in red slippers? I must sound terribly sarcastic and irreverent regarding his Holiness. The secret is revealed – I think that Pope Benedict would divide the world between Christians (Roman Catholics) and pagans (all others). So I wonder if God’s finger so poignantly pointed at humanity on the Sistine ceiling is directed at the Roman Catholic man only. Could God also point at Rabbi Heschel, or Moses; Billy Graham or James Dobson; Thomas Cranmer, Rowan Williams or Katherine Jefferts – Schori; Martin Luther King, Jr. or Martin Luther; Krishna, Dali Lama or Mohammed? Can God point at whom God pleases giving them status in the Kingdom? Or must we see the world split into factions – infidels vs. true believers? Is God’s finger a reconciling moment of grace that brings us all into one created being equal in his eyes?

The Hallway leading to the Sistine

By the time we arrived at St. Peter’s Basilica I was exhausted but walking the 6 acres of this enormous worship space was well worth the aches and pains I felt later as I sat drinking coffee at a nearby café. The Basilica with Peter’s tomb and the place of his martyrdom was stirring. Sitting at one of the many huge chapels (anyone of them easily bigger than St. Stephen’s) I prayed for my family, my friends and church. The great joy of joining with faithful people from all over the world in praying felt somehow essential to this journey of understanding reconciliation.

The food in Rome is wonderful and just near our apartment at Campo de’ Fiori are restaurants with a variety of great food. Tonight we relaxed in one of those spots to have a good meal to cap off another wonderful day in Rome!

Rome!

2008-11-24T04:58:00.001-08:00

"Uncle" Franco

Yesterday was a traveling day. Our Palestinian tour guide, Said, came to the hotel in Jerusalem and picked me up at 1:45 am on Saturday morning and drove me to the airport for my 5:30 am flight to Rome. Most of us have gotten use to the security at airports and it should not surprise anyone that given the conflict in the Middle East the security is especially thorough. I arrived at the airport at 2:30 am and arrived at my gate to board the plane at 4:45 am. Everyone at the airport was helpful and pleasant. I arrived in Rome and experienced my first real cold weather of the trip. “Uncle” Franco, the uncle of the woman we are renting the apartment from met me. What a charming and helpful man. If you could have one person by your side in Rome, I would pick Franco. While we waited 4 hours for my friend Blair’s flight to land (it had been delayed out of New York), Franco went over with me the essentials of living in Rome…from Metro to money! What a fun beginning.

St. Paul's Within the Walls

(a not very clear picture)

Being in Rome is so different than being in Israel. The palpable tension of conflict is not a factor and the only caveat to travel is traffic instead of checkpoints! There is a lightness of spirit here. People walk arm in arm, the stores are bright and filled with color and sparkle. The piazzas are ringed by restaurants with heated outdoor seating. There is music at night, church bells toll, and glasses clink together as wine is happily poured. I had gotten so used to solemn faces and soldiers with guns that Rome’s bustling atmosphere was at first a little unnerving. But Rome is about “churches, cafes and restaurants” (Franco’s words) and I hope to explore all of them!

We began today. This morning we attended church at an Episcopal Church of the Convocation of Episcopal Church in Europe. The church is called St. Paul’s Within the Walls. The service we attended was in English and it was wonderful. It was their Stewardship Sunday and so we felt right at home! We were welcomed as family and it reminded me of the way St. Stephen’s welcomes those who come with warmth and sincerity. Tonight we had a wonderfully different experience. We attended a performance of Mozart’s Requiem Mass at one of the nearby Roman Catholic Churches. I have no idea how old the church was but it had at least 7 altars and each had huge paintings of saints being martyred, or unrecognizable scenes. Statues abounded, adorned with ribbons, candles and other sacred objects. It was chaotic. The Requiem was absolutely wonderful; the soprano had such a clear and beautiful voice that complemented the other principals in a lovely way. After the performance we walked to a nearby piazza and had dinner, eating outdoors with all the Sunday evening activities surrounding us.

This is a wonderful icon that was on the altar at St. Paul's Within the Walls yesterday morning - it is Sts. Peter and Paul. Tomorrow after doing some work in the internet café we are going to the Coliseum, hoping not to get eaten by any lions!

Time to Reflect

2008-11-21T05:45:00.001-08:00

Church of the Nativity

Bethlehem

The picture above is of the nave of this nearly1600 year old church built over the cave believed to be the place of Jesus' birth. Construction on the church began in 326 C.E. and work continued on the church throughout the centuries to arrive at the present structure. It has many altars and is used by many liturgical denominations including Anglicans who hold a Christmas Eve carol service in the chapel of St. George on the left of the nave. The Franciscians, Greek Orthodox and the Armenian Orthodox Churches lay claim to the various altars. St. Jerome, who translated the Bible into Latin, is buried here as well as other notable saints.

This church with all of its sometimes gaudy trappings is probably my favorite in these holy lands. In 1987, I was in Jerusalem on a spiritual pilgrimage. It was in January and because the Armenian Orthodox Church has a different calendar than we do it was Christmas. Some of us decided to go to the Christmas Eve service at the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem. It was a wonderful experience. In spite of our language differences it was clear that both of our liturgies came from the same early sources. We knew where we were in the service by the actions going on around us.

My visit there last Tuesday was certainly poignant. My warm reflections about my experience there were caught up short as we met with Jiries Canavati a resident of Bethlehem who was one of the people caught in the Church of the Nativity in 2002. On April 2 the Israelis invaded Bethlehem to reoccupy it. The Palestinian policemen who numbered about 150 took refuge with another 50 or so people who were in the square (Jiries being one of them) along with priests and nuns who care for the church. There were also some militants present from both Hamas and Fatah. Jiries description of the 40 or so days that they were held in the church was chilling. The priests and nuns cared for the sick and dying, continued to hold services. In spite of being disturbed by the presence of guns, the local Franciscian priests who are Palestinians, supported the struggle of those inside as the struggle against their occupiers. The experience was emotionally scarring for Jiries who remained inside the entire time. He showed us the scars of the seige on the church structure as well. There were bullet holes and deep gouges in the walls.

As I listened to Jiries pain I thought of the pain in God's heart, not because of the scars inflicted on the material substance of stone and mortar, but the pain of a parent whose children make war with each other. Each gouge in the stone is a wound in our own hearts as well. We may not feel any pain but we are wounded when our brothers and sisters hate each other in such a violent way. There is so little that I feel I can do in the midst of such pain. But I can write and tell those of you who read this that hate is more hurtful than I ever imagined. There is no land in the world worth the pain of this hatred. There is no political stand that wins in the midst of this kind of wounding hatred.

Lightening Speed

2008-11-20T12:40:00.000-08:00

Sign outside the Church of the Nativity

Bethlehem

It feels like weeks since I last wrote here. We have been to Bethlehem and Beit Sahor for overnight stays on Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday we had a long day visiting the Daher farm and today we had a full day as well. I wanted everyone to know that I am well and tomorrow I am taking the day to catch up before I head for Rome on Saturday. I wanted to write about one event that happened today before I head for bed. Tomorrow morning I will catch you up a bit on the last few days.

At the end of today we went to Tel Aviv and the old city of Joppa. I remember being in Joppa 20 years ago and standing on a roof top looking out over the Mediterranean Sea while someone told the story of St. Peter praying on a roof top in Joppa. While he was praying a sheet was lowered from heaven with animals of all sorts on it - both clean and unclean. A voice from heaven said, "Get up Peter, kill and eat." Peter protested that, as a Jew, he had never eaten anything unclean. The voice said, "What God has made clean, you must not profane." This happened three times and Peter went forth a changed man. The Christian mission and message of God's love to all went forth from that moment to all humankind both Jew and Gentile.

Today I had a different experience in Joppa, which might not be that far from Peter's. We met with Eitan Bronstein with an organization called Zochrot. Zochrot is an organization of Israelis (Both Jew and Arab) who are seeking to raise awareness about the Nakba. Nakba is the Arabic word for "catastrophe." It refers to the mass destruction abnd depopulation of Palestine in 1984, during the war that led to the founding of the state of Israel. Zochrot (this is the Hebrew word for "remembering") was organized in 1994. It seeks to find a just and workable resolution to the conflict between Israelis and Palestinians. Their working philosophy is that any resolution must be founded on the pursuit of equality for all people of the region, including the right of the refugees to return. The form and substance of this right of return will need to be worked out carefully and no doubt take many different forms. Eitan was clear that the understanding of how this might happen is not as clear as the need to work towards reconciliation. Achieving reconciliation will only be possible when people begin to recognize and talk about the Nakba. So hearing about this work reminded me of Peter's experience. "...What God has made clean, do not profane."

Tomorrow I will write more...I promise.

Sunday Again!

2008-11-15T23:39:00.000-08:00

Although the last post said it was posted on Saturday...it is really Sunday. I'm not sure what happened. The picture above is a kibbutzim kitty! I have seen lots of cats while in Israel / Palestine, but hardly any dogs. Pumpkin (my cat) would not survive here!

On Friday we drove to Jenin in the north of Palestine. This involved driving as far as the Kalandia checkpoint and meeting taxis with the appropriate color license tags to take us the rest of the way. Coming back last night we had to get out of our taxis and walk into a station with a series of turnstiles and cage like walkways. We proceeded in line for 45 minutes to an area where we went through the same sort of process that one experiences in an airport. We showed our Passports and moved through to the bus where Said greeted us once again. This is a daily thing for many Palestinians as they enter west Jerusalem. It is laborous, frustrating and even for me it was filled with tension and anxiety.

Our stay in Jenin was wonderful. We attended the Olive Harvest Festival on Friday night. It was loud! And it was an incredible snapshot of Palestinian culture. There must have been 200 people there. We were treated as guests and given front row seats with other dignitaries. The festival is organized by Canaan Fair Trade (canaanfairtrade.com). They have helped the olive producers of Jenin develop and market their olive oil. They also offer scholarships to the young people of the Jenin area so they can go to university. They awarded 12 scholarships on Friday night - mostly to young women. Culturally, this festival was such an eye-opening experience. When the music began, men took the floor to dance. Soon almost all of the men at the festival were dancing. They held hands dancing in a circle and moving their feet in complex steps and kicks. It was that way all evening. They danced with incredible energy and whoops of joy. When they were not dancing they sat in each other's laps close to the dance floor. It was absolutely amazing! The women sat with their children and did not participate. Later, in our Palestinian home, we asked the mother if she ever had the chance to dance. She said, "Oh yes, we dance. I danced at my son's wedding and sometimes we dance at home."

Our home stay was wonderful. I will admit that I was anxious about it. We were already so tired when we got there and they wanted to offer us coffee and tea. They clearly wanted to talk.

The home was on two levels. The son and his wife and baby lived on the ground floor and his mother, father and 2 (maybe three) children lived upstairs. The oldest woman (the mother of the son on the first floor where we stayed) had 12 children! She was lovely. I fell asleep mid conversation they invited us to go to bed. The room we stayed in had mats (like futons) on the floor and we slept there. I slept well and then had to get some help getting up off of the floor!

The next morning we walked with the father out to his olive trees. The wall of division between Israel and Palestine was prominent with a large tower and cameras directed up and down the wall. The son said we cannot even touch the wall or the Israelis will come. I asked what they would do if they came. He said, "They will either talk to you or kill you." Whether it was true or not the perception was real in his mind. The olive grove was split by the wall and the father said that he could only get to his land on the other side occasionally.

This is the way it is in Palestine. Land, homes and personal belongings are subject to Israeli possession at all times. In Jenin the Israeli soldiers come into the city at night and go to a house and call the residents out of the house. The kind of fear that this random harrassment breeds is a dark force in the Palestinian people.

While at Suleman's house one of the teenage sons asked if he could henna our hands. Henna is a brown/orange pigment that stains skin for about 10 days. Brides are adorned by henna on their hands and arms in beautiful designs. Here's a picture of my hand being hennaed.

It is more orange today as the pigment has soaked into my skin. I love looking at it and being reminded of my Palestinian friends.

I don't think I have said much about the people I am travelling with. Four of the members of the group are from Great Britian and they are such wonderful good friends. David, Rachael, Geoff, and Martha. Martha and I have much in common - we were both named for our grandmothers and we are the youngest in our families. We both have 2 older brothers and both of our oldest brothers are named Tom. They have been so gracious and helpful to me as I have stumbled around, my knees sore from time to time. I am grateful for their presence on this trip.

There is so much more to tell and yet perhaps it is best to continue the processing at this point and write again later.

Sunday Already!!

2008-11-15T23:14:00.001-08:00

It is so hard for me to believe that is is Sunday. It feels like I have been here for years. We have been moving fast and taking in a lot of information. Here is the rest of my post from Wednesday evening:

We got out of our bus at Erez Checkpoint to take photographs. Overhead hung a huge Israeli drone. It looked like a big white fish hanging in the sky. It monitors activity in Gaza and allows the residents of the nearby cities and Kibbutzim to have a warning about the rockets. As I stepped out into the sunlight to take a picture a man with a huge camera stepped in front of me and took my picture. I said (without thinking), “Who the heck are you?” It turns out that he is a reporter with the BBC. He and his fellow reporters had been at the checkpoint for 6 days trying to get into Gaza to report. These guys were so glad for some action that they immediately jumped to action. Basically we took pictures of each other taking pictures!

Israel has pulled out of Gaza but closed the borders. It has created a humanitarian issue within the Gaza. People and especially children are malnourished from lack of food. Medications and other medical supplies are almost non-existent. The UN has been taking food and medicine into Gaza but the relief is not enough and anger and frustration is rising within.

At the kibbutzim we visited (one urban and one rural) we heard about their work, their hopes for the future of Israel and their work to reach out to residents of Gaza. For me it was an example of the work of reconciliation. These Israeli Jews were involved in small ways of making peace. Some might think that their concern for the people of Gaza was superficial or “too little, too late.” I thought they were incredibly honest about the struggle to reach out while under the anxiety of rocket attacks. It seems to me that in this conflicted land, any attempt for reconciliation needs to be appreciated and honored. While we were at the kibbutzim Israeli military jets flew low over the area. I kept wondering how it would feel to be a citizen of Gaza with the jets flying low over them. The anxiety among the people of this area, both Israelis and Palestinians, has to be debilitating over a long period. We heard about how it affects both children and adults and it is, no doubt, a contributing factor to the overall conflict.

I felt drained when we got back. Usually a cup of tea and dinner settle and relax me but I am having a hard time {sorting myself out). We have very little time to process the events we are exposed to. I am a slow processor for sure and group processing in a group as large as ours is not effective for me. I feel like I need a day of silence to “begin” the work – overall it will take months for me to really make sense of what I am experiencing.

This is a picture of the wall at a checkpoint. There are many images of the protest painted on the wall. This one I thought was explicit!

A Day in Gaza

2008-11-13T09:28:00.000-08:00

We left the hotel this morning at 8am for a journey south to Gaza. As you go south from Jerusalem the land grows more and more arid. Orange trees were in abundance and although we could not see it until later in the day the Mediterranean Sea was just off to the right of our bus. We are travelling in a small bus with just about enough seats for our 20 person delegation plus our bus driver, Assam, and our guide Said (Sigh - eed). These two Palestinians are wonderful men, generous and PATIENT! We are forever asking for bathroom stops! Assam has performed some maneauvers with the bus that I would have never thought possible. Last night coming home from Ramallah Said decided it would be quicker to get to Jerusalem if we did not have to stop at a checkpoint where we would have to get out and have our documents checked as well as pass all our belongings through a metal detectors. So Assam turned around and took us on a wild ride along the barrier wall. We passed through the next checkpoint with smiles and a wave.

When we arrived at Gaza today (not knowing that 4 Palestinians had been killed on Wednesday in a clash with IDF) we visited the Erez Checkpoint. This is a huge complex (pictures will follow). The wall is prominent with guard towers at intervals. We knew the checkpoint was closed but wanted to take some pictures.

....(I will finish this in the morning before we leave...our team meeting is starting and I must go..."

Arab and Jew

2008-11-12T20:16:00.001-08:00

Mirna Abu Aita

Student at Birzeit University

It is hard for me to give a travelogue of yesterday. I am, after two days, feeling what C.S. Lewis called “foot sore weariness.” It has little to do with the condition of my feet (or my aching knees); but it is a deep weariness for the people of this land. I can make easy conclusions and offer vague recommendations, but I would show my foolishness in doing so. The anger and frustration of the voices I heard cannot be taken lightly. It is interesting that our day began with students and ended with students. We began by travelling to Birzeit University near Ramallah. (http://www.birzeit.edu/) There are 8000 students who study at Birzeit. In spite of being closed for periods of up to 4 years after each Intifada (uprising of Palestinians in 1987 and 2000) the school has continued to educate Palestinian young people. The students we met with were Palestinians, and although it is not pertinent to the issues, both were Christians. They were both from the Bethlehem area, which is no more than 40 minutes away. But that distance and time is stretched into hours winding around a wall that blocks direct roads, and checkpoints that offer harassment and delay. One of the students said, “I am dead. When I get here I have nothing left to give of myself.” I can not presume to understand her struggle, nor can I judge her anger. I think she was expressing as she best could the internal work she does each day. She and her fellow student gave us a tour of the campus and classrooms at Birzeit.

In the evening we were joined by 3 students from Hebrew University here in Jerusalem.

These three wonderfully spirited students represented a variety of Israeli positions. They described themselves as holding positions to the "right", "left", and "leaning left." All three of these young people had served in the IDF (Israel Defense Force). They felt it was their privilege to serve. One of them said, "Being in the army was a national mission." They were genuinely troubled by the struggle in their homeland. Their views and concerns were about their own security and the struggle and pain of the Palestinians. It was an open and honest conversation which at times was painful for all of us.

It is hard for me to find my way through the feelings I am experiencing here. Yesterday afternoon after visiting the Friends (Quaker) School in Ramallah we had some free time to wander the streets of this bustling Palestinian city in the West Bank. I felt quite obvious in the midst of the beautiful dark hair and eyes. Most of the women wore long dresses with long sleeves and head scarves. They were beautiful in the variety of colors and embroidery. I sat for a long time at a coffee shop trying to find words to express to express what I am experiencing. In the middle of the night I woke up with the following words in my heart:

Arab and Jew

There are layers of hurt and hate
as deep as the soil.
Blood runs; mingling as it enters
the trough of history.
Righteousness is not right;
it builds barriers, solid as stone.
Angry defiance fails to heal
the miasma of misery.

This ancient battle born of
common parents, a sort of
sibling rivalry gone bad;
seeps through the centuries,
leaving a wake of prisoners.
It breaks open the heart
of the land; a cardiac incident
on the edge of fatality.

The fuel of this dissonance
is rich with mutual interference.
Fights within soar until they are
flights into futility and sorrow.
The pursuit continues,
down winding roads;
and deepening tunnels
seeking the soil of reconciliation.

Jerusalem the Golden

2008-11-11T11:27:00.000-08:00

Wailing Wall Partition - Men on left, women on right.

It was dusk when we got there.
Today was a very full day. I hate travelogues which give a "blow by blow" account. I will list here at the beginning what we "did" today and then tell you my highlights and insights. First the schedule:

Breakfast was at 7:30 (yummy yogurt!)

At 8:30 we met at the hotel with Jeff Helper who works for ICAD (The Israeli Committee Against House Demolition) Jeff is an Israeli Jew who works with ICAD in direct action to non-violently resist Israel's demolition of Palestinian houses in the Occupied Territories. Over 18,000 homes have bee destroyed since 1967.

After this Yacob (I lost his card, and will include his last name later), who works with ICAD, took us on a tour of Israeli Settlements in the Occupied Territory.

We had lunch and then went to the UN headquarters here in Jerusalem to hear about their humanitarian efforts in Gaza and the West Bank

After this we did a very fast walking tour of the Old City of Jerusalem. We "walked" through the Via Dolorosa (way of grief or way of suffering) ending at the Wailing Wall.

We came home to our hotel, had dinner and then a team meeting. I stayed after the meeting to worship with the group from England. They are four lovely young people who are for the most part Quaker. We used a reading, silence and sang a Taize song at the end. It was great just to worship.

Now, as to the things that stuck with me or perhaps I should say, "stuck on me." I am very struck how much Jerusalem has changed since the last time I was here. I know that 1987 was a "gentler time" in the overall picture of strife (at least in January of that year). I wept twice today. The first was when we saw the wall which is separating east Jerusalem from West Jerusalem. It is a partition which causes great grief and trouble for the Palestinians. The way land has been (and continues to be) annexed away from its owners, the roadblocks that even today caused long travel times to places that should have been more accessible, the poverty inflicted on residents who are prevented from having access to safe water, sewage, schools, roads, sidewalks and even trees; all of these things were visible and unnecessary.

The second time I wept was at the Wailing Wall. I remember being very troubled and angry the last time I went there as well. The Western Wall of the Temple mount is a sacred place for Jews. It dates from the second temple period...it is part of the temple built by Herod in 19 BCE. It represents the remnant of the most holy of places for Jewish people. People can pray at the Wailing Wall but it is divided down the middle with a wall which separates the men from the women. Praying together is not allowed because the men will be distracted by the presence of the women! Below is a picture of the "wall of partition" between east and west Jerusalem. The Wailing Wall is at the top of this report because for some reason the blog program will not let me bring it down.

So, I have been struck today by how very much Israel / Palestine is like South Africa during partition where people were partitioned off from one another and given different rights and priviliges and denyed home lands. I'm sure some of this sounds like a radical perspective and I haven't presented Israel's perspective, which I will do. It is however, the situation that I am observing. I am trying to listen very carefully.

I have to go because my computer is running out of battery power. I have to charge it in my room but have no access to wireless there. Here in the hotel lobby there is access but no plug! So that's it for now. More tomorrow!

Going Up to Jerusalem

2008-11-10T11:19:00.000-08:00

No pictures tonight just a very tired Martha reporting that I arrived in Jerusalem this evening with the Interfaith Peace Builders delegation. Our flights went off with perfection as we flew to London's Heathrow Airport first and then from London to Tel Aviv. The Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning orientation sessions at the AFSC (American Friends Service Center) office in Washington were helpful. Our team of 16 got to know each other and began working on an understanding of what we would be doing while in Israel / Palestine.

In the meeting room at AFSC my chair faced a quote on the wall. The quote by the Quaker founder George Fox (1624-1691) read:

'Be patterns, be examples, in all countries, places, islands, nations, wherever you come; that your carriage and life may preach among all sorts of people and to them. then you will come to walk cheerfully over the world, answering that of God in each one."

Underneath this quote on the wall was a small picture of Ghandi, probably done late in his life because he looks so debilitated and skeleton. That picture and quote were an inspiration to me as I face going into a situation in Israel / Palestine that may cause feelings of anger or despair. The way we live among each other in the midst of conflict is to allow the pattern of God in us to answer this same God - source pattern in others.

One other insight: Today, in the huge queue (line) at the London airport I looked around me: there behind me was a Hindu woman in Sari, also in line with me were Hasidic Jews dressed in black with side curls. There were Muslims also in line - the women with covered heads. It occurred to me that we are really all the same. We WAIT, IN LINE, TOGETHER, for the same goal. Why can't we WORK, CREATE AND CARE with the same goal in mind. I don't have the answer, but I am willing to work on it.

There are so many other insights to share but I must be going to bed. I am barely awake at this moment.

Leaving The Mountains

2008-11-06T16:17:00.000-08:00

I was in the Friends of the Library used book store this weekend and happened to see this shelf full of books. I notices that on the second shelf someone with a sense of humor had put a book by Rush Limbaugh on the same shelf with Shirley MacLaine. At least there are some books separating them!

Well my bags are packed and I am ready to go (thank you Peter, Paul and Mary...). Tomorrow I leave for Raleigh. It's hard to leave the mountains. When I was growing up I would call the mountains my "purple hooded priests." I'm not sure I knew what a priest was then, but I knew enough to know that it was a person who you could share your secrets with. And I would often do that in the evening when they stood against the sky hooded in purple shadows. I guess I am still that little girl!

I've been watching this Japanese Maple for days now. In the afternoon it glows! It has become my "burning bush." Sometimes I catch a glimpse of it out of the corner of my eye and think that the woods have caught on fire. It is such a stark contrast to the many evergreens around. And if the bush were on fire but not consumed what would I do? I suspect I would be on my knees on the back deck 24/7.

I am on the move now and ready for the adventure.

A Pilgrimage

2008-11-03T04:30:00.000-08:00

A Pilgrimage Prayer

O Lord God,

from whom we come,

in whom we are enfolded,

to whom we shall return,

bless us in our pilgrimage through life;

with the power of the Holy One protecting,

with the love of Jesus indwelling,

and the light of the Spirit guiding,

until we come to our ending,

in life and love eternal.

Amen.

(Prayer taken from "600 Blessings and Prayers from around the world", compiled by Jeffery Duncan - the above prayer is found on page 355 is a prayer from Peter Nott in England.)

On Friday I leave the glory of the mountains for Raleigh. I will spend the night near the airport and then fly on Saturday morning to Washington, DC. Our delegation (21 persons) will meet at Interfaith Peace Builders for an orientation session in the afternoon. We will continue on Sunday morning and then in the afternoon we will fly to Tel Aviv from Washington. Our first day in Israel will be spent getting settled in in Jerusalem. From there we will travel to and stay in a variety of places on the West Bank and in and near Jerusalem. I have found myself over the past few days both excited and somewhat anxious regarding these adventures. I am excited about what I will learn and I am hopeful that I am "quiet" enough inside to really pay attention.

(I am trying to be very quiet as I sit here right now because there are 2 beautiful young does feasting on the bird food just outside my window. They are carefully avoiding stepping on the feisty little squirrel gathering food at the same feeder! So much for feeding the birds!)

I have almost finished reading David K. Shipler's book "Arab and Jew: Wounded Spirits in a Promised Land". He wrote the first edition in 1986 in what he calls "a more innocent time." Ironically this is about the same time I first visited Israel on a pilgrimage to the holy sites. His second edition was published in 2002 and it contains the text of the first edition as it was published in 1986, and updated material at the end of most chapters. Shipler lived in Israel writing for The New York Times. The book is quite a "tome" of some 500 + pages, and it is one of the most helpful books I have read. Shipler presents an Arab perspective and an Israeli view using facts, the accounts of history, and stories that are illuminating. He is a journalist, who is neither Jew nor Arab and he seeks to present an account of both perspectives. All of the persons in his book are real and the stories are poignant and disturbing. I had to put the book down periodically to rest my mind. At one point I wrote these words in my journal:

My ears are tired,

my eyes are wearied.

Abraham and Sarah

childless, should have

adopted.

Shipler quotes the philosopher, David Hartman, when he talks about the "land had become an idol." In a longer quote from Rabbi Hartman, he focuses on "yearning for something that is beyond strength." In Hartman's words: " What happens when reality imposes itself on a dream? I have to say that the purpose of the Jewish return is to restore the dignity of particularism. The question is how do I treat the Arab, how do I treat Christians, how do I treat the Jews who are not religious? He who thinks he has the truth can be intolerant. We have not developed the pluralistic type. Jews here have not understood what I think to be the larger significance of the Jewish return: a pluralistic consciousness which feels that David Shipler and Hartman could really embrace each other as friends, knowing each other in their differences, and listen to each other... Unless fundamentalism gets healed, unless pluralism become a spiritual value, I don't see any future in the Middle East." (page 139 of Arab and Jew)

Throughout the book, Shipler notes how poverty provides a fertile ground for militance and unyielding demands on both sides. The echo of Rabbi Hartman's words above, "the land had become an idol", rings with truth in the entirety of the book. Shipler is more than helpful in the later chapters of the book as he presents information about the cultural aspects of both the Muslim and the Jew in Israel. Since I will be staying in Israeli and /or Muslim homes for 3 nights of the trip, I have tried to pay attention to his practical advice for being a guest.

I'll end this post with a picture of some "grown up" Christmas trees. I neglected to say in the post with the "baby Christmas trees" that the tree grown here is the Fraser Fir. It is a beautiful tree, grown extensively here in the mountains of NC. It is dense (good for hanging ornaments) and has dark green needles with a silver underside. It has a light, soft wood which makes it great for shipping to places that don't grow Christmas trees. Now, I've done my bit of advertising for the NC Christmas tree!

Mary, Queen of Peace

2008-10-28T16:47:00.000-07:00

I took the pilgrimage to West Jefferson and Glendale Springs yesterday to visit St. Mary's Episcopal Church and Holy Communion Episcopal Church. Both churches have frescoes painted by Ben Long. Long is a North Carolina native who after serving in Vietnam travelled to Italy to become an apprentice (in oil painting) to Pietro Annigoni. But Annigoni was no longer painting in oil but in the medium of fresco. Long decided to apprentice with him anyway. Long completed several frescoes in Italy. He came home to NC and in 1972 he met the Rev. Faulton Hodge. Hodge wanted Long to paint a fresco for a church in the mountains. In 1976 Long began painting a series of frescoes in the two churches in Ashe County (St. Mary's and Holy Communion).

These two churches have always been favorite destinations for me; usually visited after hiking some nearby trail in the summer. It was wonderful to go again and visit them yesterday. This fresco of Mary is probably my favorite although the one of John the Baptist below is so "gritty and real" that it looks like he will step down and start preaching!

Every time I see them I find something new in them. In this one of John the Baptist, I don't think I remember the dove at the top - representing the Holy Spirit. The one below which is at Holy Communion Church is of the last supper and I love the fact that Long put a dog into the picture (at the lower left). As you can probably tell the fresco is on the wall behind the simple wooden altar. You can see the pumpkins and straw for fall at the bottom of the picture which is actually on the floor in front of the altar. The fresco is so vivid it looks like you could step into the scene and sit down on the stool at the table with Jesus and the disciples.

But of all the frescoes my favorite remains Mary. It is such a different picture of her and she is pictured in red instead of blue. This is not Mary gentle and mild to lull us to sleep, but this is Mary who wants us to wake up to the reality of what is about to happen in our lives as we encounter her Son. We are going to get shaken up, stirred up in soul and heart. Mary (in this picture) does not bear comfort but rather she bears the one who will "discomfort" us with a challenge to live in peace with one another. She bears a message for our time for sure.

Winter is Coming!

2008-10-27T09:06:00.000-07:00

This will be a short post with a lot of pictures. I'm back at the Public Library in Sparta...still no internet with Embarq! I woke up to the wind shaking the trees around the house. Of course the leaves are flyin! It is sunny off and on - really a beautiful day. Tomorrow will bring a taste of winter to the mountains - snow showers! I'll see if I can get a picture of the little flaky wonders as they flutter down.

It has been a restful weekend. I went to Christ Episcopal Church yesterday and really enjoyed sitting in the pew and just worshipping. They were having their Annual Parish Meeting after church and were gracious in an invitation to stay. I did not stay although the "pot luck" smells were tempting. They also do their children's Christian education during the service. Many of the children are acolytes and so they dismiss the children after the reading of the gospel by singing "Jesus loves me." They come back just before the closing hymn and process out.

This is a picture of 111 Ivy Lane in Glade Valley, NC. It is surrounded by mountain laurel bushes and as you can see lots of trees. Behind the house there are woods which slope down to a large pasture where there are horses. I go down to the fence and the horses come up to the fence for a nose rub. I have put out some pumpkins since I took this picture. I doubt that I have any trick or treaters - the house is not really visible and there are only a few houses on the lane.

The picture below is of baby Christmas trees! Alleghany County, NC is one of the largest producers of Christmas trees and the tree farms dot the landscape all around. These tiny, future trees are important to the economy of this area.

Well, I am off to West Jefferson and Glendale Springs to see the frescoes in the Episcopal Churches there. Going to those churches was always a favorite thing to do in the summer after we hiked the mountain trails. I will take some pictures...

On Sabbatical - On Hold

2008-10-25T09:57:00.000-07:00

I am at the Alleghany County Public Library in Sparta, NC. My high speed internet at home is being repaired by Embarq, who are my new best friends! I have been on the phone with them so much they get lonely when I don't call. Technology is... frustrating.

I have been resting and reading. Yesterday was rainy and dark - a good day for a pot of tea and a good book. Today is sunny and when I get home I am going to rake some leaves away from the front of the house. I will send pictures soon (I hope) of the leaves, the house and the mountains.

The landscape of God's creation is a cathedral of unparalleled beauty. I realize this often as I drive through the gentle landscape of southwestern Indiana. The fields are constantly changing colors and are a rich patchwork quilt of gold, green, orange and brown. The beauty stops me in my tracks, literally causing me to pull over to the side of the road at times to soak it in. When I got to Wytheville, Va and caught sight of the Blue Ridge Mountains for the first time I had the same reaction. The gentle, smoky blues of the ridges falling away over and over across the landscape stopped me once again. Such a variety of colors that God has created for us in this earthly sanctuary.

I will send pictures as soon as my friends at Embarq fix the cable or whatever is broken. Until then, Lucy the librarian here at ACPL will be helping me communicate. From Sparta....

The King of Love

2008-10-13T05:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning we sang "The King of Love My Shepherd Is" - its author is Henry W. Baker and it was first published in 1868. I have sung this hymn many times in many places, but by far the most memorable was in 1977. I was at Sewanee with my EFM class and we worshipped at All Saint's Chapel. All Saints' is far more than a "chapel." It is a "cathedral" of great beauty and grandeur. I remember this hymn so well because in the middle of singing it, I knew I was called by God.

The king of love my shepherd is,

Whose goodness faileth never;

I nothing lack if I am his

And he is mine for ever.

Where streams of living water flow

My ransomed soul he leadeth,

And where the verdant pastures grow

With food celestial feedeth.

Perverse and foolish oft I strayed,

But yet in love he sought me,

And on his shoulder gently laid,

And home rejoicing brought me.

In death's dark vale I fear no ill

With thee, dear Lord, beside me;

Thy rod and staff my comfort still,

Thy cross before to guide me.

Thou spread'st a table in my sight;

Thy unction grace bestoweth;

And O what transport of delight

From thy pure chalice floweth!

And so through all the length of days

Thy goodness faileth never:

Good shepherd, may I sing thy praise

Within thy house for ever.

I am not sure exactly which words of this hymn confirmed that call in me...it easily could have been verse 3. "Perverse and foolish oft I strayed" was an adequate description of my life at that point! As was the last part of that verse: "But yet in love he sought me; and on his shoulder gently laid and home rejoicing brought me." Perhaps it was those words confirming in me the truth of my life: I am a sheep who is loved by a Shepherd and this Shepherd will always bring me home...no matter how far I stray.

Yesterday we sang this hymn as the sequence hymn before and after the gospel lesson. As I placed the gospel book back on the altar, I felt overwhelmed with God's love. I could hear the congregation singing the words of the hymn and I felt the depth of their presence. I remember when I was ordained as a deacon in 1984. Although only the Bishop's hands were on my head, I felt the weight of the congregation's presence behind me. In my mind it felt greater than those gathered - it had depth that went beyond the doors of the cathedral and into the world. That was similar to what I felt yesterday.

I told a story for my sermon yesterday from the book "Tales of the Kingdom" by Bruce and Karen Mains (1985). It was the story of the little girl named Dirty. She comes to the place called Great Park where everyone loves the king. But she refuses to be one of the king's subjects and she goes to live with the pigs. She is "dirty." Dirty loves to watch the Great Celebrations while hiding in the trees, so no one will see her. At the Great Celebration all the king's subjects go into a circle of flames and when they "enter" they are changed - made real. After they "enter" there is dancing, singing and a banquet. A beggar finds Dirty hiding in the bushes one night and invites her to go with him into the sacred circle and be his guest at the banquet, but Dirty refuses. She tells him she would rather be with the pigs than with him. As she watches the beggar enters the circle through the flames and he is revealed as the king. This missed invitation by the king causes Dirty to want more than her pig stye. She finds herself crying for the first time and she runs away. She is found and brought to the Great Celebration where she enters the circle. She is clothed in white...made new from head to toe. She asks someone about this new garment and finds out that she has been clothed in kingslove.

I think that "clothing" is what happens to us from time to time. We are suddenly and unexpectedly clothed in Godslove. It falls over us like a soft garment and all the "knots and gnarles" within us are loosened so that we can not only feel Godslove but give it away. It is a good thing to remember those moments when God makes us new. For me it is a reminder that if God can make me new, and clothe me in his love, then he can do it for any and all of those people around me. It helps me not be so impatient with others or so eager to disregard those I disagree with or dislike. In words from "Tales of the Kingdom" - Dirty found that she could love even those who were "ugly" because she knew a king that could make them new. That's the task isn't it?